Deeper Healing

09| Lucky

Leilani Edwards

When I woke up, my body felt way calmer and less painful than I had expected. After all the crying I had done, it was almost a miracle how my head wasn't throbbing with a migraine and my eyes weren't pricking the way they usually did after such an intense emotional breakdown.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes attempting to sit up, but the lazy bitch in me was too warm and cosy to abandon the luxurious comfort the queen-sized bed offered. Instead, I sunk my head back into the pillow and spread my arms wide open, taking a deep breath.

This bed was oddly more comfortable than my own, and its unmatched comfort nearly made me forget all my problems.

My eyes wandered around the big, luxuriously furnished room admirably until they landed on the shiny digital clock on the wall. It was eight in the morning and that made me groan.

No matter how much I desired to stay in bed, I had to get up, be a normal guest and face my problems head-on.

I sat up slowly, giving myself a small motivational speech in my head because right now, I could really use a little bit of positivity. I slipped my legs off the bed onto the floor and they landed on something fluffy.

Only when I looked down did I realise it was a plush white rug and right next to my feet was a pair of grey morning slippers. I didn't remember putting them there, but I slipped my feet in any way which at least fit in perfectly.

I realised there was a glass jar full of water in a tray on the nightstand together with an empty water glass and at least three bottles of pills. I grabbed one and read the prescription. The corners of my lips rose into a smile. They were for migraines.

Nikolai was so thoughtful and caring that it sent a fuzzy feeling to my stomach. I wasn't used to such a type of treatment. I was sure I didn't deserve any of this from a man like him. I was just lucky.

I ended up pouring myself a glass of water and then another until I felt hydrated. I got onto my feet and stood up before walking towards the floor-to-ceiling window, a lazy yawn escaping from my lips.

I pulled the thick grey curtains apart, drawing them open. I averted my eyes as a beam of sunshine penetrated the room. I couldn't help but moan lightly as the rays caressed my skin and I hugged myself, tilting my face towards the sun to absorb the warmth.

When I opened my eyes, the sight before me stole my breath away. This was one of the best views of New York City with everything seeming way far below. It was like I was close to clouds, the whole world underneath my feet like I was floating in a new dimension.

Seeing how beautiful and carefree everything seemed to resurface the images from the previous night I had so intently tried to push to the back of my head. I felt a lump lodge in my throat and I sighed, walking away from the window.

The first step towards feeling better for me was always acknowledging the pain without letting it affect me deeply. Indeed, I felt used, filthy, stepped on and defiled. I felt like my dignity had been stolen ruthlessly from me and what was left was nothing but a void and a broken weary soul.

Those overwhelming feelings sucked and drained the life out of me, but I knew I had to feel them to effectively rebound and claim everything I had lost to the ravenous predators of the world one by one.

I stared at myself in the full-length mirror, sighing. "Who are you?" I asked the girl in the mirror, staring back at me.

She was broken, bleeding with pain and seemingly losing every fight. I let out a shaky breath, wiping away a tear that trickled down my cheek.