Deeper Healing

20| Rock Bottom

Leilani Edwards

"I think I'm gonna go," I muttered quietly, getting up from the couch with a clenched fist.

I was fucking stupid for thinking I was ready for this, impulsively testing my insecurities and I was even more deluded to think Jennifer would let me walk out so easily after voluntarily jumping into the lion's den. She stood directly in front of me and when I tried to move right and left, she blocked my way eagerly.

I sighed heavily from both impending exhaustion and the desperate need to wipe off the smug smile plastered on Jennifer's face. "Before you get overly excited, I was here for Blake, not you."

Jennifer clicked her tongue, folding her arms impetuously. She didn't look offended but rather pleased. "Trust me, he'd be me more excited to see you than I'd be," she said, ambling towards me. "I mean he's been dying for your attention for what, nine years? God, he'd have a heart attack seeing his daughter walk into the house she condemned without either of us lifting a finger."

I let her words sink in, pretending I was unbothered by the way she stood so close to me now that I could pick up her expensive cologne. Just looking at her had me wondering whether it didn't shatter her heart to address me as her husband's daughter and make it sound so normal.

Maybe that was her way of coping and making it seem less of a big deal, but deep down, I knew it hit a sore spot.

"Too bad I'm already on my way out," I leered, attempting to walk away, but Jennifer beat me to any action, forcefully linking our arms and dragging me forward with her.

"May whatever gave you the courage to get out of wherever the hell you're living and dragged you here give you the strength to climb up those stairs and meet your father in his study. Heck, I'm walking you there myself," Jennifer chimed, easing the tightness of our locked arms.

I looked at her in suspicion. She was suspiciously relaxed and not throwing any shade at me and that energy was seeping into my system, replacing the vulnerability I'd felt seconds ago.

Did she have some major plan up her sleeves to give me a jumpscare or was this that unique day she was actually giving me a damn break for the first time since we met?

Either way, I felt like whatever the hell she was doing gave me more strength to face the confrontation I'd initially planned.

As we ascended the left wing of the bifurcated stairs, I couldn't feel anything but my heart pounding in my chest wildly and blood roaring in my ears as though I were to face a death trial. My nerves were kicking in and I felt bile rise up my throat.

These signs alone told me I didn't share a good relationship with the man who called himself my father. In fact, I didn't consider him my father, but rather someone my mother loved and left me with the burden of forming a relationship with.

If only I'd stayed in the dark about the man who knocked her up and left her pregnant with a mistake baby, I'd have much more peaceful nights and I wouldn't be damned to complex relationships with his wife and kids.

I tilted my head towards Jennifer a little when I felt her gaze on me. She was staring at me softly and for a second, she had me thinking she didn't actually hate me as much as she made it seem.

"Stop staring at me like that," I mumbled. "It's creepy and suspicious."

She chuckled. "I underestimated your guts and strength."

"Okay, now you're being dramatic," I said in a dry tone, slipping my arm out of hers and walking a step ahead of her as we reached the end of the staircase.