ARE YOU WORTH IT (intersex)

17

I came out of the elevator to find Mrs Jones' tall silhouette standing at the end of the hall. It's been a few days since I've seen her. Even though I purposely avoided her I still hoped she'd come around eventually but the day never did come. To be disappointed repeatedly you begin to just get numb to it. I made my way down the hall with my head low. I really don't have the energy for whatever she has to say. I finally approach my door practically dragging my feet. I didn't even acknowledge her because I didn't want to. I just put my key in and twisted the knob opening the door.

I took a deep breath inhaling my home taking in the smell of soft vanilla My favorite scent, my scent. I heard her come in after me. I'm not sure why she's here and I can't build up the words to ask. But I must

"why are you here" I say a little over a whisper. My voice is cracked and raspy. I hope she doesn't think it has anything to do with her.

She set her keys and phone on the table making her way to the bedroom side of the living room. She eagerly approached me, Her scent invaded my nose, something I oddly missed. I closed my eyes taking in more of her fresh, fruity fragrance. I jotted my eyes open realizing I kept them closed for too long I looked up at her, her eyes glistening in the low light, her presence is soft and inviting but I know it's just a trick.

I step back a little, gaining back my self worth

"What is it that you want?" I question turning around to my dresser digging for an oversized t-shirt for me to wear to bed.

I could feel her warm skin just barely touching me. I felt her hands wrapping themselves from behind me turning me around to face her. My eyes instantly met hers, something is different... there was nothing cocky or cold about her demeanor. It was soft, delicate and very inviting. It's clouding my judgment. I've only seen her look like this once. I need to stand my ground. I took her hands off me slightly pushing them away "What do you want." I ask again

She extended both her arms past me placing her hands on the dresser behind me. She leaned down, locking her eyes with mine. Her eyes narrowed, looking at each eye more intense than the other. I could see her jaw clenching and unclenching, I can't tell what it means.

"I want you, Stephanie." the words fell off her tongue like a song singing to me in harmony. "I can't stop thinking about you and Believe me I've tried." I pushed her again trying to shut her out. Her words are sinking under my skin, hypnotizing me, making me feel things I've been trying to force myself not to feel. But she didn't move. like a brick wall, she stood there completely unfazed and still standing over me.

Her hand cupped my chin tilting me up to look at her. I closed my eyes trying to fight the urge.

"Look at me" she demands, forcing me to quickly open my eyes. "I think about you at times I shouldn't be, when I'm working I think about you. when I'm at home when I'm-" she paused on her words seeming to hold back . Our eyes are connecting in a way they've never had. Her eyes shifted to my lips causing me to do the same. I could feel the chills running up my back. She's saying all the right things making it difficult to remember why I was mad at her in the first place, I'm losing sight of my boundaries. "Please tell me you've been thinking about me too" her eyes narrowed and head cocked to the side waiting for an answer. But I didn't have one. I want to tell her the truth. That I've dreamt about her over the past few days that I still touch myself to the thought of her. That I thought about going back on my own morals to adjust to her way of life but i just can't, I can't let myself go this route. I've witnessed it firsthand what it could do to a person's emotions.

I closed my eyes, before a tear could fall.

"I'm sorry but I don't. your married Camila. You are supposed to feel this way about your wife not me." Her eyes broke from mine which was odd because she's never the one to break away from eye contact. What does that mean? I squint my eyes as hers go blank. I can't believe I'm really turning her down, which is taking everything in me to do. She's so fucking persuasive and mastered the skill of getting whatever she wants and she knows that. I will say It's a little shocking to me that she isn't trying to use her persuasive tricks on me like she normally does, instead She just grabbed her keys and phone off the counter and made her way towards the door

"Your right. My apologies miss Caine. You have a good rest of your night." she mutters under her breath.

As soon as her feet hit the hall I closed the door. Leaning my back against the door letting out a deep breathe

Xo