ARE YOU WORTH IT (intersex)

29

{Victorias POV}

I looked at her writing a paper at her desk  I should've been used to it by now—the sneaking around, the pretending. I was trained for this. It's what I did best. But lately, things had started to feel... different.

I leaned against the doorframe, watching her focused on her work. She had on her glasses and her hair pulled back in a Low ponytail. She looked so different from the woman I first met. The weight of everything Vivian had done to her was evident in the way she carried herself. Her guard was always up, like she was constantly bracing for impact. I took a deep breath, pushing the guilt down as far as I could. I was here for a reason. I had a mission. And I couldn't let myself forget that. Not now.

"Are you okay?" Camila's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. She was watching me from across the room, her brow furrowed slightly in concern.
I nodded quickly, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just thinking."She didn't press me, but her eyes lingered on me for a moment longer than usual. I hated when she looked at me like that, like she was seeing past the mask I'd built so carefully. It made me feel exposed, vulnerable.

I walked over to her, my heart heavy with the weight of what I knew I had to do. The plan was simple: get close to her, gain her trust, and use her to find out everything about Vivian and take them both down. That's why I was here. That's why I'd let this go on for so long. But somewhere along the way, I lost track of where the lies ended and where the truth began. I stood behind her wrapping my arms around her, feeling her body tense at first, then relax into me. She trusted me. Completely. And that was the worst part.

"Can we just... stay like this for a while?" she whispered, her voice soft.
I rested my chin on her head, my eyes closing briefly as I let myself get lost in the moment.

But This wasn't real. I constantly had to remind myself of that. I was playing a role, doing what I had to do.

I tightened my grip on her trying to hold on to the moment a little while longer, to try and somehow let myself forget. Forget about the lies, the mission, the betrayal that was coming and just let myself exist in this moment with her, even knowing that it wouldn't last. Knowing that when the time came, I would have to destroy her.
Camila shifted in my arms, standing up to face me. Her eyes soften as she held my waist. She smiled as she traced me with her eyes "I love you Victoria." Her words made the weight heavier. "To be honest I've felt this way for a while and I don't expect you to say it back I just didn't wanna go another day holding back what I truly feel." I opened my mouth to respond, but the words were stuck in my throat. What could I say? That I love her too? Or That every time she looked at me like that, I felt like the worst kind of person? That I hated myself for the way I had to manipulate her?

I stood there, frozen in place, her words still echoing in the quiet room. It was like a knife twisted in my gut, cutting deeper the longer I stayed silent. I watched her, waiting, hoping I'd say something—anything to make her feel like this moment was worth the vulnerability. But really, what could I say?

She had given me her heart, bare and unguarded, and all I could offer was a lie. A role I was playing in a game she didn't even know she was part of. My throat tightened, words stuck behind the wall I'd built between who I was and who I was pretending to be. I stepped back, needing space. She tilted her head, her brows knitting together in that soft concern she always had for me. It made me sick—knowing she trusted me like this.

"Victoria?" Her voice was soft and uncertain, and I could hear the vulnerability underneath it.
I forced myself to smile, "camila I feel the same way," The lie came out so easily, I almost believed it myself.

Camila's shoulders relaxed, her eyes softening as if the air had finally cleared between us. She stepped toward me, slipping her hands around my waist again, pulling me close. I felt her warmth, the gentle rhythm of her breathing, the way she fit so perfectly against me. It made everything worse. "I was scared to tell you... but now, I'm glad I did." I swallowed hard, my arms wrapping around her on instinct. Her love wasn't meant for me. It was meant for the version of me I'd created, the one I used to get close to her.

The one who wasn't real.

I tightened my grip around her, holding her as if that could somehow stop the inevitable from happening.

She pulled back slightly, looking up at me with those soft, trusting eyes. Her lips curved into a small smile, full of hope, and I hated how much I wanted to believe in it, too.

"I'll finish my work later," she said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Right now, I just want to be with you." She was inviting me deeper into her world, into her heart, and I knew I didn't belong there. I should've just walked away. I should've ended it here, told her the truth and let her hate me now instead of later.

I strongly need an opinion for the next few chapters.

Should i limit graphic content? Or keep it raw and unfiltered?