unrequited

07

As soon as I shut my locker I flinched when I saw Changmin standing there.

He had a small smile on his face, but something was different about his eyes. I'm sure the way I was looking at him was different too.

Don't worry Doah, it's all part of the process. Is what I was trying to convince myself.

"you ready?" He asked.

"Mhm!" I zipped my backpack and swung it around both my shoulders.

As we walked off of campus I found it to be more silent than it usually was. I wanted to talk about books or music like we usually did, but I had the sense that he had something to say.

"I talked to Serri today." He finally spit it out when we crossed the street.

"Really?" I asked. There was something depressing about my voice. "How did it go?"

"It was.... she was nice," Changmin answered. "Surface level wise, we seem similar."

"I know what you mean," I told him. "Are you guys planning to do anything?"

"Yeah actually, I think we're going to do homework on friday in the library." he said.

"You don't sound so excited," I said.

Changmin glanced at me. "Sometimes I feel like you know me better than everyone. Even more so than your brother."

"Really?" I tried to act surprised. "I don't-I don't think so."

He gave me a look.

"I just know that tone, Min," I said. "That's the voice of someone who's dreading something. Like my brother, when you drag him to a party."

But it was more than that. I could have taken one look at his face before he said something and would have known what was wrong.

"I'm not dreading it!" Changmin said quickly. "It's just that I would rather hang at your place and watch that stupid show."

"Stupid?!" I exclaimed.

"NOT STUPID I didn't mean that," He defended himself. "But you get what I mean?"

"I know, me too honestly," I said.

"Where are you going?" Changmin asked.

"I-"

Suddenly the roar of a motorcycle zooming on the road next to us made him and I look in that direction. The boy wasn't wearing a helmet. He had on our school's uniform and a brace on his wrist that I immediately recognized. Sunwoo was going too fast to see me but Changmin and I certainly saw him.

Changmin's hand reached the side of my arm as he gently pushed me to the left side of the sidewalk so he could be next to the road. I felt his hand on my skin even when it was gone.

"Sorry what? I couldn't hear you over that kid's bike." he said when Sunwoo was gone down the road.

"I'm going on a date," I blurted out. Saying that to him should have made me feel better. It should have put even more distance between us because we were both going to see different people. But saying it just tightened the knot in my stomach.

His eyebrows shot up, and I glanced at him. I could have sworn his smile faltered for a second, but then I blinked and I saw his dimple.

He's really happy for me. No part of him regrets anything.

"No way, Choi Doah's first date?" Changmin asked. "With who?"

I returned my gaze straight ahead and I nodded towards the empty road on his right.