unrequited

13

It was the night of the bonfire party and as I was searching through my closet I was starting to regret this commitment.

Chanhee had (regretfully) helped pick out a pair of ripped jeans shorts and a loose knit coverup over a red bikini.

As much as we were annoyed with each other, he wouldn't let me become a fashion outcast at my first high school party.

Once I got changed I went through the hallway to do my makeup in the bathroom, but when I opened the door there was a dark shadow lurking in front of the mirror.

"GaH! What are you--why are you standing in the dark??" I flipped the switch on.

Changmin was standing over the sink, shirtless, and just seeing that alone made my face feel warm. I forced my eyes back to his face and when I did I saw that he wasn't smiling. It seemed like he hadn't been smiling in a while.

Was he... crying?

"Sorry," he said and quickly turned his fake happy face on. "I just got out of the shower."

He didn't seem to mind being shirtless in front of me—maybe he didn't notice.

"Sorry, I-Im gonna go," I took a step back but he took a step forward.

His hair was dripping wet, and a few spots of water ran down his chest and I didn't dare look further than that.

"Wait I um... before you go to the thing just don't forget your pager. Use it if the party is boring or the people or mean or whatever—I'll go get you whenever you want." Changmin said.

Hearing him say that made a wave of relief wash over me, I liked knowing I had an escape.

I nodded. "Thank you," I said. "Sunwoo can drive so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Y-yeah of course, it's just that I assume he wouldn't be the type to leave a party early you know? It's just in case, I wanted you to know that I'm here." He explained with caution.

"You're probably right," I said. We stayed there for a moment and I finally blurted out "Are you okay?"

Changmin faltered because I caught him off guard. "I'm fine!" He said. "Are... are we good?" He asked.

I nodded. "Why wouldn't we be?" I said in a tone that failed to mask how I was feeling.

He shrugged and smiled. "No reason, other than that I'm intruding in your personal living space and don't want things to get awkward."

I laughed "You're always welcome here."

"Thanks," he said.

Finally, he squeezed past me in the door frame. I felt the heat of his body for a moment, and the faint fragrance of his shampoo.

I glanced back, which was a mistake, and I saw every trace of the muscles in his back, his shoulder bones, the droplets of water.

I swallowed and I shut the door quickly. Oh god.

While doing my makeup I was in a daze, and five minutes later when I came out I couldn't get that image of him out of my head.

I went downstairs and grabbed my pager off the kitchen counter top just as I heard the loud honk of a car horn in our driveway.

Chanhee sat upright from the couch and glanced at me. "He's not coming to the door?" He asked.

I shrugged, I didn't consider that a big deal.

Chanhee started towards the front door and I raced him there.

I opened it, and Sunwoo's black car was parked horribly half on the sidewalk and half in the street. He unrolled the window—he was wearing a pair of sunglasses and an open Hawaiian shirt which somehow suited him.