unrequited

36

6 months later.

"Dohs, come here I want to show you something." Changmin said.

I had just attended the class of 1999 graduation ceremony with my family. Changmin had grinned widely when he was up on stage, he spotted me in the crowd and waved. It was a different kind of happiness for him. It wasn't just about being over school. It was how far he had sunken and how he had gotten himself out of it. He managed to graduate with pretty good grades, he had a job set for a few months in advance. He had found his way.

Changmin grabbed my hand and took me through his house. We got back together during the summer break. He was more than ready for it, and obviously, so was I. At first it was kind of awkward. Not for us, but just to tell my parents about it and to deal with stares at school. People didn't like the idea of a 3rd and 2nd year dating, but at that point neither of us gave two shits about it after everything we'd been through.

And the best part, he was back.

We passed by Changmin's mom who was up and about in the kitchen. A few weeks ago Changmin moved back into his house. He and his mom spent enough time away from each other, and it was enough to have his mom actually miss and appreciate him. He helped her out of her dark spot even though she had never done the same for him. But that's just the kind of person Changmin was.

His mother smiled at the both of us and I waved at her.

"Woah what's the rush?" I asked as Changmin practically threw the back door open.

"This." Changmin said.

There was a grass area in his backyard with a small garden. Now there was a little tree there. It was about a foot tall and was growing branches and green leaves.

Changmin pulled me closer to it. "Look closely."

I squinted at the small engraved carving on the trunk. It was his grandma's name.

"My mom had her ashes cremated into a seed and now it's grown." He explained proudly. "Isn't that amazing? It's like she's here."

"That is amazing," I said. I was at a loss for words. It was such a beautiful sight. I tried to take in this moment because I wanted it to last forever. The air was clear and sunny. We were finally holding hands after all this time. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks." He squeezed my hand. "I'm happy."

I smiled at him. Before this all happened I think I took happiness for granted. I had never realized how much things could change in an instant. It was so hard seeing someone I loved go through that.

"We made it," I added and we both stared at the tree.

"We did it," He agreed.

Suddenly there was a beep. My pager blinked a number and I said, "Chanhee."

My brother and I finally exchanged pager numbers after realizing that we needed to keep in contact as much as possible. I would never admit it, but I was going to miss him so much. Luckily he wasn't going too far, but Seoul was still a few hours away. It wouldn't be the same.

It felt like everything was changing at once. But for some reason, I was okay with this kind of change.

"We're going to be late," Changmin said, the sun was just threatening to set.

"One second," I said. I reached into my pocket and kneeled in front of the tree. I placed one of the pictures down that Changmin gave me from his time in San Francisco. It leaned against the trunk of the tree.

Changmin smiled. "I hope she's seeing the city." He said.

"She is." I said. "Trust me."

With that, we raced back out of the house and through his neighborhood. For some reason we decided to run. It felt free. It didn't feel like I was going to be a 3rd year next year. And it didn't feel like Changmin had just graduated. It felt like we were little kids again, reliving our precious childhood.