𝔽𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 ℂ𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕟 || 𝕂𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕒𝕥𝕠 𝔸𝕪𝕒𝕥𝕠

27. Koi No Yokan

A shaky breath escaped Ayato's lips as he plopped down on his bed, his head sinking into the plush sheets. The intricate pattern of camellias that decorated his bedroom ceiling became nothing more than vague shapes as he stared up blankly, long eyelashes half obstructing his vision. He was still in his suit, but he couldn't care less as his eyes struggled to stay open.

After the first dance, Kanari slipped away, leaving him with the pesky Mondstadian princess and a million other noble ladies all fighting for his attention. If only she had stayed, he might've been able to steal another dance with her, but even Ayaka and the general did not know where she went. Perhaps she'd retired for the night. It was not unpredictable, seeing how she'd shown blatant discomfort at the social gathering.

Ayato frowned, running a hand through his silky hair. He wished she'd told him where she went. Then, he could've followed her, and they could've spent more time together. He had spent the day listening to Princess Fischl's incessant compliments and honeyed words, all while wondering if she meant a single thing. The world of nobility came with nothing but lies as they all scrambled to earn the favor of whoever they were trying to serve.

That was never a problem with Kanari.

Nothing was ever a problem with Kanari.

Unlike a large portion of the people he knew, she didn't sweeten her words. She never told him his plans were flawless nor acted like his every action was undoubtedly correct. In fact, she criticized him far more than she complimented him. It made the few nice comments she'd given him far more valuable than anything anyone could ever say to him. It was also why his heart skipped a beat when she returned his compliment — or at least, that was what he was telling himself.

The memory of her stifled smile when she received his gift brought a grin to his face as he continued tousling his own hair. The way her shimmering white locks caught the light. The way her emotions danced in her sparkling blue eyes. The way her lips curved ever so slightly into the prettiest smile he would ever see. It filled Ayato with a feeling of pure ecstasy that he could never get enough of. He wanted to see her delighted expression again so badly it was ridiculous.

It drove him mad how the world she grew up in shaped her. How afraid she was of others' judgements. How little confidence she had in herself. How fragile she was in the face of her past. And who could blame her? A childhood deprived of love was no childhood at all.

When she told him of all the things that happened to her in that charred manor, a desire to protect flared inside him. That day, he wished he could keep her in his arms forever, safe from the things that haunted her. The unfathomable amount of trust she must've placed in him at that moment to speak of the horrors she'd gone through.

Ayato wanted to never see the terrified look on her face when he chased her out of the hospital wing again. He wanted to shield her and make her smile forever and ever. He wanted to hear her laugh and know that it was him that caused it.

Gods, what was wrong with him?

Turning to the side, he clamped a hand over his mouth as a childish smile took over his face. His lovely advisor seemed to have earned a permanent spot in his mind, for he could not stop himself from thinking about her. The way they'd danced together made his stomach flutter as if it wanted to take off and soar in the sky like a bird. He thrashed around on his bed like an ecstatic puppy as he recalled the warmth in her hands as their fingers laced together.

When he first met her, he'd thought Kanari resembled a white queen only in looks. Now, however, he realized that she was so much more than that. She was sharp, serious, and authoritative, yet she was also witty, kind, and compassionate. Though she was stoic at times, she cared deeply for those she held close to her heart.