The Argo Goes West

131, The Lightning-Rod Family

To Mr. and Mrs. Miller

Dear Mr. Miller, Mrs. Miller. I have good news for both of you. Dorothy Abbott you are looking for is safe. She was mortally wounded in the Sierra Nevada, but was saved by nymphs and survived. (Some people may question my sanity for writing "nymphs", but I think those of you who have actually seen the giants and eagles will understand.) Dorothy visited me in Washington. And just now she has traveled west again. She is very grateful to you for offering a bounty to find her. She wants to thank you and let you know she was safe. That's why I sent you this letter. I am enclosing a message from her.

--Mark

Mark Twain's handwritten letter was framed and displayed in the most visible place in the Miller family drawing room. In 1917, Europe was in the midst of World War I, but the United States, still in the process of developing its frontiers, did not join the war. Thus, the United States never sent 4 million soldiers to the Western Front, nor did it lose 65,000 dead. Mr. Patrick Miller died of illness two years ago, and Faye Miller, a widow, lived alone. She had no children and didn't have many friends to visit. Mrs. Miller, who loved to talk, welcomed anyone who came to her house, even if it was a peddler, into her house and offered her tea and sweets.

"What's your name?" Mrs. Miller asked the peddler's daughter. The girl looked like Mary Pickford, but she seemed unattractive and unlucky.

"Antigone," the girl muttered.

"Pardon me? Could you repeat that?" Mrs. Miller couldn't hear very well, so she asked the girl back.

"Antigone."

"That's a difficult name," Mrs. Miller sighed. "Can I call you Annie?"

"Yes."

"Would you like Annie, Pep O Mint candy or MoonPie?"

"Whichever."

The girl must have never been treated so kindly by others. It was a timid, curt response.

The girl's father next to her had a poor face like a weasel and was wearing round black sunglasses. He must have had a hard time, he looked old.

Mrs. Miller talked as much as she wanted, while the man and his daughter listened. When Mrs. Miller got tired of talking, the man started out.

"Did you know about the big fire in Delphos?"

"No. Where is Delphos?"

"Ohio. There was a big fire that burned down half the town, and it was caused by a lightning strike."

"Oh dear!"

"It wasn't just thunder," the man said fast and fluently. "It was the thunder that Zeus shot. For that reason, conventional lightning rods were completely useless. The power of Zeus' thunder is enormous. What I would like to introduce this time is the latest lightning rod newly developed by Dr. Nikola Tesla, who has been researching lightning rods for many years. Certified by the National Fire Prevention Association. If you have this, Zeus' lightning countermeasures are perfect. There is no need to worry about your neighbors by causing a fire."

The shape of the lightning rod did not resemble a conventional lightning rod. Elongated creatures resembling serpents and dragons were coiled around poles.

The price wasn't too high. Mrs. Miller decided to purchase it. It was because she wanted to thank them for listening to her story, and because she wanted to dress this girl in a cute new dress, not a second-hand one.

"But how am I supposed to put this on the roof?"

"Don't worry. I'll climb up and set it up."

"Really?" Mrs. Miller was surprised. She assumed he was blind because he was wearing round black sunglasses. (The man was wearing round black sunglasses for a different reason. His eyelids were cut open. He wore round black sunglasses to avoid direct sunlight and not to spook the other person. )

"Thank you, Mr. Tonans."

"Call me Jupiter."

"Well then, Mr. Jupiter."

Jupiter Tonans and Antigone set out to move to the next town in a Ford Model T town car that they had bought cheaply from a taxi company. Jupiter Tonans, aka John Braddock, was smiling at the wheel in the driver's seat, but Antigone in the passenger seat was as unfriendly as ever. It was always like this. Since Jacqueline Braddock, John's wife and Antigone's mother, committed suicide, Antigone has never smiled. The reason for Jacqueline's suicide was that she discovered birthmarks on both ankles that John had hidden all along. Her young son Eddie, who was kidnapped when he was young, also had birthmarks in the same place. John, her husband, was the same person as Eddie, her son! So Jacqueline married her son. Jacqueline cursed her fate (a cruel fate beyond human control) and chose death. Then john cut off his own eyelids.

The car was out in the suburbs, driving down a rickety dirt road. John Braddock remembers the time when he was a child, traveling across the United States with his adoptive father. He learned the art of tricking people by looking at his father. Antigone, his daughter, his sister, would grow up that way too.