Universe (VegasPete) R18

Chapter 59 - Null and void

4 months earlier

-Vegas-

It's been three months since Pete fell into a coma.

Three months today and as I was shaving myself, focus, watching my gesture in the mirror, I abruptly stopped. I grabbed the sink, tightening my grip so strongly, until I couldn't feel the tip of my fingers.

The sharp pain hit my chest again. And I burst into tears.

I crashed on the ground, leaning against the wall, pressing both side of my head with my hands.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to keep going. I don't know how...How am I supposed to live without Pete? Was is a goodbye? Will he ever wake up?

All of this. All of this because of me. And the last words he heard from me... Does he know how much I love him? Did he fell asleep thinking I was hating him?

I'm a fucking asshole. I deserve the pain. I deserve this. Porsche was right. It should have been me.

I squinted my eyes, my jaws clenched, and I suddenly hit my head against the wall multiple times violently until I felt dizzy. Pathetically drowning in my own tears until a sound woke me up from the pain.

WAAAAAH!

I opened my eyes and stared into space. I stayed there without moving listening to the sound that was piercing my ears. I hate that sound. I hate it with all my heart.

WAAAAAH!

Shut up.

WAAAAAAAH!

Shut up...

WAAAAAAAAAAH!

"SHUT UP!" I shouted with so much force that the sound echoed in the bathroom.

The tears were falling along my cheeks, I put my head between my knees, covering my ears, curled up on myself. Like a freaking child hiding from his parents after another useless tantrum.

Venice kept crying and I let him do. I left him alone in our bedroom until the cries eventually stoped as I heard the door of our bedroom opened.

I knew it was wrong, I knew that Venice needed me. I knew it was just a fucking baby, but I didn't have the strength. I wanted him to disappear, I wanted Venice to never exist. I just wanted Pete. Nobody else.

Knock knock

"Hia? Are you in there?"

It was Macau and I could also hear Venice giggles through the door. I didn't answer right away but I got up, wipe the tears off and splash some water on my face.

I took a deep breath and eventually opened the door.

"What do you want?" I said in a cold and distant tone, walking toward the dressing table to grab my shirt.

"Venice was crying his lungs out; didn't you hear him?"

"I did."

"Then why didn't you..."

"You did it for me, right? So why are you fucking bothering me with that child? He is not dying."

"I know but it's bad to let a baby cry."

"Like this creature is my problem..."

"It is."

"It's fucking not. Just go the fuck away with him. Feed him, change him, kill him, I don't fucking care. Just leave."

Macau stayed there for a moment without talking, rocking Venice in his arms. I didn't look at them, I just got ready, ignoring their existence. Until Macau talked again making my blood boil.