Another empty bottle

The start of telling the truth

I kept hearing my phone go off in the passenger seat. I tried my hard to ignore it. I knew it was Luke without even seeing the caller ID. It was hard to ignore him. But I decided to pull into this parking lot.

It was getting late anyways so I just turned off my car and I answered Luke's call.

Luke: where are you

Just hearing Luke's voice made me break.

Me: I needed to get out of the town.

Luke: babe I know. We can go together if you tell me where you are

I told him where I was. I just waited for him to come and get me because who was I kidding with running out of this town by myself. As I was waiting for Luke I was engulfed in my own thoughts and feelings that I subsided for the past few years. I just broke because I couldn't deal with it anymore. I mean after 3-4 years of just drinking away my problems I didn't have time to think or really feel anything because I just drowned myself in alcohol.

Then finally Luke showed up. He opened the passenger side of the door.

Me: your finally here
Luke: hey what's wrong

I just shook my head and said nothing but in reality he know I was broken.

Luke: your not okay. I know your not so what's wrong.
Me: I just can't do this anymore it's to hard
Luke I know it seems that way but trust me your are so strong

Just hearing Luke say those words made me think maybe I can do this.

Luke: let's go find a hotel we can get my car tomorrow and figure everything out I can drive so you can get some rest.

Finally after what seemed like forever we finally found a hotel and got a room. When we got into the room I  ran to the bed and laid on it rather dramatically.

Then I made myself comfortable and closed my eyes ready to fall into a deep sleep. Until I felt Luke pull me closer. I just it go because I was to tired to even care.

••
••••
When I woke up the next morning I decided to check my phone. My phone was blown up with a bunch of texts from Matt, Spencer, and Alex. I think that Luke may have gave them my journal entries.

Spencer: where are you
Alex: are you okay
Matt: why didn't you tell me
Spencer: Hannah where are you I'm worried sick about you
Alex: we are here for you
Matt: how couldn't you tell me everything you were going through
Spencer: please call me I'm so worried about you

Then I decided to to call Spencer.

Me: hey
Spencer: oh my god you're okay. I thought you died or something
Me: oh no I just needed to be out of that town for a bit
Spencer: okay I totally understand. You do know you didn't have to go through all of this alone I am by your side no matter what
Me: I know I just didn't want to hurt anyone. I think I am coming back tonight. Luke is with me he found me last night but I'll see you tonight and I'll explain

Then I hung up.
Luke: what are they talking about
Me: when I left you the letter I also have you all of my journal entries.
Luke: oh those yeah I didn't read them I just read the matters and gave the journal entries to spence not knowing what they were
Me: I think I want to head back to town. I have to explain some things to them

Then we got in my car and headed back to where we left Luke's car and then we headed back to town.

After a few hours of driving we finally got to Spencer's house where I told them I'd meet them. When we got there we went up to Spencer's room.

When Matt saw me all he could do was yell at me.

Matt: why couldn't you fucking tell me everything that was in those letter things

When he was yelling at me I just felt a tear come down my cheek. All I could think was I fucked up big time. But I never meant to hurt anyone I just couldn't express what I was feeling into words.

But I guess it's my time to tell my sorry. Who knows what will happen now.