Im sorry I haven't been writing in this for awhile. It's just been hard. Spencer and Alex are getting more and more popular by the minute. Alex refuses to talk to me. Luke is icing my out. I now realize what it's like to feel that way and I did it to them for so long. I wish I could apologize to them. But I can't. You may think that this is just a complex story of a teenager but it's not it's more than that. There will not be a happy fairytale ending.
Well I'm trying to keep writing in this more now.
I got out of my room and slipped on my shoes. I decided to walk to the cemetery to talk to Anna. When I finally got to her grave stone I sat criss cross in front of her grave stone.
Me: Anna you dont think I did the wrong decision to forgive him do you? Well I don't know if I did. But I wish you were still here so I can see you one last time. I just want one last time to talk to you I wanted to get the change to say goodbye. Even tho thoughts are the toughest words to tell someone. Anna I miss you.
Then I started crying.
Spencer: finally I found you
I wiped my tears away.
Me: why would you want to find me
Spencer: we are best friends
Me: why aren't you icing me out like everyone else is
Spencer: you don't understand what it's like to be iced out
Me: I was iced out when you left so don't act like I don't
I started to walk away.
Spencer: that's not what I meant
Then I walked back home.
I stormed up to my room not closing the front door. I slammed my door shut.
Mom: honey what's wrong
Me: leave me alone
Mom: I'm here for you
Me: just go away
My mom ended up walking back down stairs.
Then later I'm laying on my bed curled in a ball and I got a knock on my door.
Mom: you have company
Me: mom I don't want to talk to anyone
Then my door opened. Then shut when they walked in.
Me: who ever you are I don't want to talk
Luke: not even to me
I sat up. Luke came to my house. Why though?
Me: why are you here
Luke: I can't visit a friend
Me: well you kind of iced me out for awhile
Luke: yeah I came to explain myself
Me: look Luke I'm tired if herring you explain yourself
Luke: okay just listen ok
Me: fine continue
Luke: I'll admit that I was mad that you forgave Matt. Everyone was mad. I forgave you after awhile. But I tried to make myself to stop liking you I can't do that. It hurts to see you hurting to see you sad or hurt.
Me: really? You don't like seeing me that way
Luke: yes and you know you think you aren't popular at school but you are you just don't give people the chance
Me: Luke I dont want to be popular
Luke: and talk to Spencer and Alex they need you right now
Me: what happened
Luke: just go talk to get sometime today okay
Me: if you promise to never ice me put again
Luke: as long as you don't ice me out to
Then he left. I checked my phone. I got missed calls and texts from Spencer. They were saying how she sorry and how that she needed me. I didn't care that I had makeup down my face from crying and my hair was a mess I pulled that into a bun.
I walked into Spencer's room. Spencer was crying.
Me: Spencer what's wrong
Spencer: I can't do this no more.
Me: what happened
Spencer: first my mom leaves me. And now my dad just told us he doesn't want any part of us then he left. Who knows where he is
Me: Spencer I'm sorry
I brought her into a hug. She cried more. She stopped after a while.
We layed on her bean bag chairs.
Me: how did Alex take all of this
Spencer: she stormed out of the house
Me: want to go for a walk
Spencer: yeah I need some fresh air.
We got outside and started to walk. We walked for awhile then we got close to matts house. I knocked on matts door. And you would have not guessed who he was with.
When Matt opened the door Alex was kissing Matt. I was so shocked so was Spencer.
Spencer: Alex!?
Alex: what
Spencer: how could you
Matt: it's not what it looks like
Me: Matt that's bullshit because there's no misunderstanding what's going on and Alex you knew she liked him
Alex: but they were broken up
Matt: it was an on again off again thing anyways
Alex: and they were off again
Me: Matt just stay away from her and me
Then I ran over to Spencer.
Me: Spencer I'm sorry
Spencer: he's a douche anyways
Me: there's a party tonight do you want to go find some guy to make him jealous
Spencer: yes thank you so much for being there for me
It was hard seeing her like this. I mean she's been through so much and it's finally getting back to normal.
We headed back to her house. We are both tired so we decided to get alittle sleep before the party.
When I feel asleep the first thing I saw was Anna sitting next to me.
