Mutinous

Chapter 9

It was still snowing that morning on the first day of February and though I had to admit everything was prettier in white I was ready for change. I didn't like the brown colour the naked trees would give to the landscape without the snow, but I also did not want it to continue this way. I needed the warmth. I needed the sun coloring my skin, and I needed the greenness that came with spring. Everything covered in white was pretty yes, but I liked it more when it was all covered in green.

The time on my phone read 8:22am. Would it be too early to write him now? My fingers ran over the screen, and I decided that the timing now was just as good as any.

Happy birthday, Harry. I looked at the words and contemplated what else to write. I didn't want to write an entire novel, but I also thought this was too short. It needed to be simple and short, yet more personal than the average message people would write him on Facebook. Not that I knew him better than most people, but I didn't want my message to be impersonal. I was putting way too much thought into this. 

Happy birthday, Harry. Wishing you a lovely day. This sure was harder than expected. What do you write to someone when you barely know the person? Don't celebrate too hard, remember we have class tomorrow. xx Ellie

I reread my words. It would do, right? It wasn't too long or too short, but hopefully more personal than the average message he got. I shook my head. I really shouldn't put this much thought into a text message. That was just ridiculous. So instead of thinking more of it I pressed send, hoping it wouldn't wake him.

"What did you do yesterday?" Father's words took me by surprise, the minute I entered the room. He just had to know everything.

I sighed annoyed at the tone he was using with me. I couldn't talk to him that way, but of course it was different the other way around.

"I was with Maggie at Hyde Park. Had an early night. Was most likely asleep when you got home."

He looked at me sceptically while I walked to the fridge under his uncomfortable stare. It was sad, father's presence was rarely pleasurable.

"Is that so?"

"Yes," I replied wanting him to get off my back. I had done nothing wrong.

"Maggie!" He yelled abruptly, taking me aback by his sudden outburst.

Footsteps came running down the stairs, and I laughed at the poor state Maggie was in. "What's happening? Where's the fire?" Her hair was a complete mess, and her eyes were only halfway open. I felt bad for her, because clearly she had been sleeping until our father so unkindly had woken her.

"What's going on?" Mum sounded worried, and I rolled my eyes to myself. What was his problem? He had everybody worried, all because he was too busy being a lawyer instead of being a parent and therefore he didn't believe a word I was saying was true.

"Maggie, were you with Elliot yesterday?"

"Yes, why?"

"And what did you do?" He continued completely ignoring her question.

"We were at Hyde Park." She said giving me a confused stare, and I wanted to tell him 'I told you so', but I knew better to keep quiet.

"Alright then. You can go back to sleep, "he said, and it didn't take her long to disappear upstairs.

"What's going on?" Mum was confused and with good reason. His outburst had been unnecessary.

"Nothing. Everything is fine. Right, Dad?"

He gave me a look and nodded without a word, but I knew the look on his face told me otherwise. At least I was off the chase for now.

The buzzing of my phone took me by surprise, and I knew my smile was undeniable when I noticed who the message had been from. My heartbeat instantly increased and I needed to exit the room immediately. Dad would get suspicious if he saw the look on my face, and I was in no mood for another interrogation.

I almost sprinted up the room, but I tried to make sure it didn't look out of place, and I quickly closed my door after me once I was safely inside my bedroom.

Thank you. Glad you remembered. Don't worry. I know. Means I'll see you again. xx

I wasn't sure it was possible to smile any bigger, but the warm feeling that came from inside my body made it impossible for it to disappear. I was happy, and even if I didn't like to admit it, I knew exactly why. It was a strange feeling having practically a stranger affecting me like this, but I didn't want the feeling to go away. I was tired of wondering what it would be like to be with someone. I wanted to experience it. I wanted to experience all of it, yet a part of me kept telling me I couldn't. I wasn't sure if it was being with Harry in particular. But the thought of the two of us together had definitely crossed my mind more than once, and I knew that if we continued like we did, I would fall hard for him. Maybe if my parents hadn't set up their rules things would be different, however, the three year age gap between us still scared me. He was experienced, something I clearly wasn't. And I didn't know how to be in a relationship. I didn't know what I wanted. What would I expect of him or myself? And where would I be in 10 years time if I let myself give into my feelings now? Everything was so foreign, but it was like every time I looked into his eyes, I knew exactly what I wanted and everything seemed so simple. Maybe it actually was? And perhaps I was in reality the only person standing in the way of my own happiness.

"Don't tell me you believe her?"

"Of course I believe her. She was with Maggie."

"She's in on the lie. She's dragging her sister into this."

"Richard, you are being ridiculous. If this was Maggie this wouldn't worry you."

"What are you saying?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying!"

And just like that my happy mood was changed for the worse. I liked it more when they were at work. At least then they didn't fight. I blocked them out not wanting them to affect my mood anymore than they already had. Why was it suddenly necessary for them to always fight? I loved the fact that mum wasn't siding with him, yet sometimes it seemed like it would be nicer if she did. Then maybe they would fight less? The fighting was really starting to get to me.

Carefully opening the door I made sure they didn't hear me, before I tiptoed to Maggie's room. I didn't want them to know I had been eavesdropping.

Maggie was lying peacefully on the bed fast asleep and I sighed in relief. It was nice knowing this was not affecting her as much as it was me, then again she wasn't the topic of the fight, I was. I sat down on the bed next to her and watched her in her sleep. She looked like a little girl, but then I remembered she was just 14, which in all honesty was not that old. She still had her entire life ahead of her, yet she had done things I hadn't.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was low, and I wanted to tell her I was afraid mum and dad had woken her up, but decided not to. She shouldn't worry before I knew there was something to worry about.

"Just wanted to know if you were still asleep. You look cute when you're sleeping."

"Well I was until you woke me up," she sneered.

"Sorry, sis. You shouldn't sleep all day."

"Why not, mum?" She asked and buried her head in the pillow.

"Don't call me that."

"Well you act like one," she mumbled and I took her words to heart. Was she right? Was I actually acting like a mum? The thought honestly frightened me. I had plenty of time to act like an adult. I was still a child, and I needed to let myself do things that was normal for people my age. I noticed Maggie was back asleep, and I kissed her forehead before I left her room.

"Jen, please tell me I'm not acting like a mum, " I complained over the phone. Maggie's words had hit harder than I'm sure she intended them to, but it had definitely been an eye opener.

The pause on the other line was longer than normal, and I knew exactly what her thought on the matter was.

"Thanks, Jen."

"Well you're caring, which is good. You are responsible and you look after everybody else, but- you need to put yourself first sometimes."

Biting the inside of my cheek I thought her words through.

"You know we all love you, El. But start doing things for you, okay?"

"Okay." I replied, not realising how much power the four lettered word held at the time.