Mutinous

Chapter 48

Watching Sophia with Liam made me feel uneasy. Of course they were being adorably cute, but at the same time, it reminded me of what I had so easily let slip away from me. It was like trying to hold sand in your hand, practically impossible as the sand would find its way to slip through your fingers. Some of it would stay safe in your palm protected by your hand, but even that I had let fall to the ground, and I think it had hit harder than either Harry or I had ever imagined.

"Hi, Ellie. It's been so long. How are you?" Rosie asked wrapping her arms around me. In all honesty, I had forgotten about her, and I started to dislike myself more and more. I was so stuck up in me and my own life that I totally forgot that Louis had a girlfriend too.

"Hi Rosie," I said with a smile. "I'm all right," I said but just as the words had slipped my lips the one person constantly on my mind entered my view, and I froze. It was like he looked even better than he normally did. Not that I thought that was even possible. If only we could turn back time.

Rosie let go of me and looked at Harry clearly understanding what was going on. Louis must have told her that we were no longer together. And though it felt a bit strange that I was here with Harry and all his friends, I was happy Sophia had invited me. Hopefully, there was a chance Harry and I could talk to each other, and I was almost certain Sophia had thought of that too. Good thing she liked me. I gave Rosie a small smile and excused myself. I could not stand being close to Harry with all these people. At least not when we were not on good terms.

"Sophia is there anything I can help you with?" I asked as she was putting snacks down in bowls.

"Well, you can do me a favour," she said raising her eyebrows and smiled at me. Somehow I didn't like the way she was looking at me.

"What?"

"Go talk to him. He is looking awfully miserable. I don't like to see him that way, and we both know what has caused it."

I scrunched my nose at her and narrowed my eyes. "You know, he doesn't want to talk to me. And I feel like all I do is apologize. Clearly it's not enough."

"Oh, but I'm sure he does. He just doesn't know it yet. He doesn't want you to tell him you are sorry. He wants you to show it."

"And how do I do that?" I asked confused. I had no idea how to do this.

"Well maybe go down on him. All guy's love being blown," she said with a laugh. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That surely wouldn't do anything. That was so out of the question. "Look, he's being awfully stubbourn. Probably doesn't want his ego to be bruised, but trust me, he wants you," she said.

"How do you know?" I asked in confusion.

"He's been looking at you for the past five minutes," she said, and I took a deep breath and turned around. Brown met green and even though I had caught him looking he didn't turn his gaze away. He kept staring and our eyes clearly mirrored each other. Both pairs held confusion, sadness and hurt and if my confidence wasn't nonexistent, I would have walked over and kissed him right there and then, but I didn't. I just stared at him the same way he stared at me lost and helpless.

"What you have is precious. Don't let that go to waste," she said, and Niall arrived already in the mood for a drink.

"Let's get this party started," he said, and once again I felt uneasy. I remembered the last time I had seen him and that night was definitely something I didn't want to remember. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid to kiss him just because I thought Harry had done something similar with someone else. Whenever Harry had done something, I was just ready to do the same thing to him. It was childish, and I needed to stop that kind of behaviour. An eye for an eye made the whole world blind. I needed to remember that next time, I thought getting revenge was a good idea. I needed to be the bigger person if just for once, and therefore I took the nearest bottle of wine, opened it and took a sip before I headed towards him. Not only was I trying to avoid Niall, but I also desperately wanted to be close to Harry. Luckily the others were mingling apart from him, which meant I could talk to him without having everyone eavesdropping.