Mutinous

Chapter 44

To my luck mum and father both worked late that night and Mia had to go before they came back, which left Maggie and I to ourselves. I knew I could have gone out and seen Harry or at least left the building, but even though I wanted to see him,  it was not a good idea, and I needed to do anything in my power for my parents not to hate me forever. Besides it would be nice spending some time with Maggie for once.

"Don't beat yourself down over this," Maggie said. "I mean Gemma might be right in some things, but-"

"What?" I cut her off thinking she would have been on my side.

"I mean you said it yourself that you and Harry were skipping class, and doing it in a loo is not the smartest thing to do."

"But those were my ideas. Not his."

"Exactly my point. I can understand why Gemma might think you are a distraction," she said looking at me nervously.

"But I'm a distraction from his dad."

"Taking his focus off his dad might be a good thing. But taking his focus off of his studies not so much. And I hate that I barely ever see you anymore. Like I like Harry, but maybe give it some time. See how things goes. That way mum and dad will probably forget about it all."

"I seriously doubt that," I said crossing my arms.

"I'm sure she's just protecting her brother. If his mum threatened about arresting you, I think I'd rather have the two of you broke up."

I bit my lip and felt my phone ringing. It was Harry and though I had been ignoring him quite a lot I knew it was not fair on him, but I wasn't sure what to say to him. I was conflicted about everything.

"I guess it makes sense," I mumbled, and Maggie looked up at me.

"Look at it from her perspective or his for that matter. Out father is insane and there is unfortunately nothing we can do about that, but we do not necessarily have to drag other people into that." Even though Maggie was not saying those things to hurt me, somehow the words hurt nonetheless, because I knew she was right. I gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand before leaving her alone in her own room. I was done talking about the subject with her. I simply couldn't bear being reminded about the fact that Harry and I most likely didn't have a happy ending. Too many people seemed to be against us, and I felt my heart being pulled apart slowly but surely. There was no possible way I could describe how much it hurt. I could not describe how much pain Harry's absence hurt me. Not that I had ever tried it before, but it felt like a knife had been stabbed in my heart and had been pulled back out so the blood could flow freely. It literally felt like my heart was bleeding, and I wondered when or if that would ever stop. Shivers ran down my spine and tears fell down my cheeks reminding me that I was still alive, but that living was simply unbearable right now.

-

By Sunday I was most likely a walking dead. I couldn't sleep at night, and it was showing by the dark circles framing my bloodshot eyes. To my luck mum and father was constantly working and I had a feeling that it was because they couldn't stand looking at me. Perhaps I was wrong, but it felt nice not to have them constantly on my back. If I had thought father and I's relationship couldn't get any worse, I was clearly wrong. He no longer addressed me by my name, but mostly referred to me in third-person saying 'she' even when talking to me. He despised me, and I just couldn't wait until I turned 18 and could get my own place.

Tears seemed to be my latest accessorise. I practically cried all the time, and Maggie and Mia seemed to have stopped noticing. At least by that Sunday at noon they stopped asking.

I felt terrible for ignoring Harry, and I knew he deserved for me to tell him everything, but somehow it seemed easier just to ignore him and let things be. I was bad at confrontation. Perhaps he would get the hint eventually, and I would avoid having to do this in person. Not that I was sure Harry and I breaking up was the right thing either, but in the moment, it seemed like it was our only option. I didn't think mum and father would forget about this, but maybe Harry and I could wait until things had blown over.