Mutinous

Chapter 38

Waking up, I noticed the snow that fell peacefully outside the building covering the otherwise plain city in a beautiful white layer. However, I felt like it was once again mocking me letting me know that just as I thought things were getting better, they weren't. Just like when I thought spring had arrived, it hadn't.

Maggie lied sprawled on my bed. Her breathing was slow letting me know she was still asleep. Both of us had slept in my room. None of us had wanted to go back downstairs for dinner and frankly neither of us had been particularly hungry last night. I was now, however, but I feared what was going to happen once I made my presence known downstairs. I felt like it was my fault Maggie had been hit. That if it wasn't for me none of this would have happened, and I just wished there was a way I could go back in time and not let Maggie get slapped. Better me than her I thought to myself, because I now knew her and father's relationship would never be the same, and I didn't want that to happen. She was his everything, and I didn't want to take that away from either of them, but in some way I had even if I wasn't the one who had physically slapped her.

To my luck, father was at work so the only person greeting me once I made my way downstairs was mum.

"You okay?" She asked, and I gave her a confused stare. Why was she suddenly concerned about how I was feeling?

Shrugging I grabbed for a croissant on the kitchen table.

"El, I'm sorry," she apologised, and I gave her another confused glare, wondering why she was apologising all of a sudden.

"For what exactly?"

"For the way I handled the situation yesterday. It wasn't fair of me to say what I did, but you must understand that it came as quite a surprise to hear my 17-year-old daughter say she loves someone."

I stayed quiet and my eyes met hers wondering where she was going with this.

"I am really disappointed for the fact that you would even consider seeing someone knowing the rules your father and I have set."

I didn't say anything. I was tired of her lecture. I knew they were disappointed in me, no big deal. My entire life I had tried to be good enough for my father, but I had never succeeded. So what difference did this really make?

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What exactly do you want me to say, mum? You start off by apologising and then you tell me once again how disappointed you are with me. Can you make up your mind yet? I want to apologise I do, but I can't apologise for being happy. I simply won't."

"I want you to be happy, El, but I'm afraid of what will happen. I don't want you to get hurt."

"And what do you think putting me in a box is doing to me? I'm not fragile. I don't need protection. I can take care of myself."

"You're only 17, love."

"So? You were 20 when you had me. I assume you had been with dad a long time before that?"

She nodded but stayed silent, and I got a feeling she was hiding something but so what if she was? It didn't matter.

"So why can't you let me live my life the way I want. He makes me happy, mum."

She sighed, and she looked like she was fighting herself. "Your father is having people coming over tonight. They are bringing their son. He's 18. His name is Henry."

I shook my head knowing exactly what they were trying to do, but it wasn't working. They wanted me to show interest in this boy. They wanted me to get together with him. Maybe not now, but in the future. Because if my father associated with his parents that meant he had the right status. It meant that he was someone my father would approve of, but I couldn't care less. He didn't matter. I had Harry and everyone else were unimportant.