Mutinous

Chapter 47

Knowing I could have prevented the break-up from happening hurt to say the least. I hated myself for reacting like I had, and I hated myself for constantly jumping to conclusions. How had I gotten so bad trust issues in such a short amount of time? The worst part was that once again I didn't feel good enough. I didn't feel like I was good enough for Harry, and I did not feel like I was good enough for my parents because they sure seemed to hate me, and I just felt really low about myself. 

The tears never seemed to stop falling and sadly enough it was like they had become part of my life. It was almost as if I didn't know how to live without them. I wanted to talk to someone, but unfortunately it felt like I had no one to talk to. I knew it was my own fault, but that didn't mean the feeling of being alone hurt any less. I wished Jen and I's relationship was like it used to be. I would have called her, and everything would seem to be okay, but our relationship was not like it used too be, and I didn't feel like I knew Sophia enough to cry my eyes out in front of her. I didn't want for her to deal with my problems. She had her own life, and I was just a pathetic loser. At least I felt like one in that moment.

I heard the front door open and close and I headed downstairs wanting to talk to mother. Well in all honesty, I didn't want to talk to her. I wanted to yell and scream at her because she made me believe Harry had taken the money.

"How could you do it to me?" I asked the moment my eyes met with hers.

She narrowed her eyes at me clearly confused as to where my sudden outburst was coming from. "What are you talking about?

"The money. You knew Harry hadn't taken them, yet you lied to my face about it."

"Dear, I have no idea what you are talking about," she said taking off her coat.

"I don't believe you. You and father-  you are- you're just out to get me. You just like seeing me miserable. You like to hurt me. I can't believe you would do this."

"What is going on?" She asked.

I wiped away a tear that had slipped from my eye, and whether it was because of anger or sadness I wasn't sure, and it really didn't matter. "You and father told me Harry had taken the money! He hadn't. Guess the joke is on me."

"What?"

"He didn't take the money! You lied to me. You made me believe that he didn't want me. That he didn't love me," I said and started crying again. This time it was because of my sadness.

"El, I swear, I didn't know," she said, but I was not listening I was so furious at her for doing this. I would expect it from my father but not her. She was not necessarily supposed to be on my side, but she was not supposed to be as cruel as him. I thought higher of her.

"I can't believe you would do this to me. He is just pure evil, but you-. you are supposed to be better than that," I cried.

She walked closer to me. "I don't like hearing you talk about your father like that, but please believe me when I say I didn't know, okay. El, please. I had no idea. I thought he was telling the truth. I'll talk to him, okay."

I stayed silent taking in her words and nodded slowly while tears slipped down my cheeks. She walked over and wrapped her arms around me, and from the way I was crying and her soothing words telling me that everything was going to be okay, I got a feeling that she knew Harry and I were officially over. She didn't question it though, and I thanked her mentally for that as I was not ready to open that wound further up. My cries was the only sound in the room, and all I could think was 'make it stop'. 'Someone take the pain away.'

"I'm sorry, baby," mum whispered into my ear, and I closed my eyes hoping to forget about the pain, but it only worsened as Harry appeared in my vision.