Mutinous

Chapter 46

If only things had been different, I would have called Jen and we would have laughed everything off. But the thing was, my problems had gotten worse than ever, and though Jen and I had talked things through part of me was sill not trusting her fully. Maybe I was being unreasonable, and I knew if she had just hurt me, I would have forgiven her a long time ago, but because she had hurt Harry it somehow hurt more. Had I not had Harry in my life, I would have forgiven her ages ago, but the fact that he had been there had given me less reason to make things up with her. At least until now, I hadn't been alone, and unfortunately for her, I didn't need her in the same way I used to how badly that may have sounded. But as I was sitting there staring blankly out in the kitchen, I knew I had most likely been wrong in not letting things go back to normal between her and I. I was wrong in letting my happiness depend on a boy because as I was sitting there I realised how empty and alone I truly was, and that wasn't because of Jen. No, it was because of my own naivety towards people. Clearly, I tried seeing good things in people where good couldn't be found. That was also the reason why I had not believed my father was a bad person, until Harry had opened my eyes since, but then again, I didn't think Harry was a bad person either. Not that he was an overall bad person, but clearly he liked playing with people's emotions too. At least that was what I thought at the time.

I searched through my phone looking for Sophia's number. For a moment I contemplated calling her, but instead I sent her a text asking if we could meet up. I wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing in letting Harry go even though technically he was the one letting me go, but there was hope right? At least if I believed there was there would be.

Sure you can come to my place xx

The text was short and simple yet it was all the confirmation I needed. Hopefully, Sophia could give me some advice. She did after all know Harry quite well herself.

-

The drive to Sophia's place wasn't long yet it felt that way as I sat alone with my many thoughts.

He doesn't love me.

He never wanted me.

I am just not good enough.

The thoughts grew more extreme, and I tried my hardest not to cry again. My eyes were still bloodshot and dark bags had formed underneath my eyes, but maybe this was all just a stupid nightmare and I would wake up soon. I didn't, but somehow I felt better as I stepped into Sophia's welcoming embrace. I made a note to spend more time with her in the future. And I made another note to be as kind to her as she was to me. Sometimes, I felt like I was just taking and taking and giving nothing back. Was I a bad person?

"It's lovely to see you. You all right?"

"Not really. Thanks for letting me come here," I said and quickly added," it's good to see you too by the way." I really needed to be more polite. Suddenly, it seemed like all my manners had been washed down the drain.

"Would you like a cuppa tea?" She asked with a smile.

"Yes, please," I said and followed her towards the kitchen. She told me to sit down while she prepared the tea

"So tell me what's going on? Your eyes tell me that either you haven't been sleeping well or you have been crying. Somehow I got a feeling it's a mix of both."

"I don't know where to start," I said letting out a sigh, "Harry and I were fine. Then I talked to Gemma, and she told me it would be better to stay away. Thought I was a distraction to him and didn't want him to end up in jail."

Sophia's eyes widened, "wow, hold on there," she said holding out a hand, "jail?"

"My father's been threatening Harry for sleeping with me. He wants him arrested. I'm still a minor and even though what we are doing is technically legal I still have to follow their rules as I live under their roof."