Date me (Rindouxreader)

Chapter five

I don't blame Kazutora for stabbing me or trying to murder Keisuke.

I always knew that he wasn't the most mentally stable person. But after I found out, I felt kinda bad for him. Not that I pitied him, just sad that he never got the childhood he deserves, and because of that, he's become this ticking time bomb.

What I'm trying to say is that he has a lot of unpacked trauma, and some piece of shit took that to their advantage and used it against him, manipulating him into thinking that everyone is against him, even Keisuke.

He believed it, hence why he tried to kill Kei.

But for some reason, he wasn't mad.

After he stabbed me, he broke down, apologizing over and over, until his voice was no longer there. You can tell that he was sincere by the way he begged Keisuke for forgiveness.

It was like he snapped out of the trance he was in. Like somebody had pulled him out of the void that he was stuck in for all his life.

Keisuke wasn't one to get mad at his best friends, and he wasn't. He just hugged Kazutora and told him everything was gonna be okay.

Flashback

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-to," Kazutora apologized between sobs, continuously wiping away tears, but more just kept coming. Blood from previous wounds mixed with the salty tears he was wiping, but he didn't seem to care.

His eyes were on the ground, while a tall raven-haired boy tried his best to comfort him and convince him to stop crying.

Keisuke knew what Kazutora was going through at home, with an abusive dad and manipulative mom. It was only understandable, so he couldn't blame the poor boy.

The boy in front of him smiled, not paying any mind to his older sister, who was injured. He knew that she would be okay. She was too stubborn to admit she was anyway.

The blonde-highlighted boy continued crying tears of sadness mixed with a bit of misery and a hint of relief that his best friend wasn't mad at him.

To be honest, he thought that he would get killed, and his heart started beating at a rapid paste when he saw the boy coming near him. He closed his eyes, ready for the impact, but only felt a hand on his shoulder, and a grin with its fangs sticking out.

End of flashback

Watching that scene unfold made me feel sorry for the boy. He thought that after doing something wrong, he'd get punished for it. Because that's how things went in his household.

He's never felt actual love from someone, which is why he's so emotionally unavailable. The only emotions shown in his house were sadness and anger. And his brain registered that to be normal.

He found it normal to be beaten after he made a small mistake.

Kazutora didn't know about forgiveness, hence why he thought Keisuke would leave and never speak to him again.

He doesn't have the best way of thinking, and it shows, but Keisuke was determined to show him that he deserved love and affection. That he was worthy of happiness.

That he, too, deserved a childhood that he would remember.

Not a sad one, but one filled with love and happy moments.

That is until he stopped talking to Keisuke and even stopped hanging out with Toman, despite their forgiveness.

He thought that he didn't deserve forgiving friends like them and distanced himself.

Until now, I still don't know what he thinks about it because back then, he would often zone out and not hear a word we were saying.

That could just be a trauma response to stress, but nevertheless.

"You're, Y/N, right?" He asked, turning his body in my direction, making sure he got the right person.

He seemed well. He's probably getting enough sleep, seeing as his eyebags are much lighter than before.

I nodded, still looking at him, but he wasn't doing the same. He looked everywhere but me.

'He must still feel bad

"How have you been, Kazutora?" I asked, laying my head back onto my arms, still looking at him.

His eyes shot to mine, looking quite surprised. Guess he expects me to still be mad at him, even though I never was.

"Better, I guess," His eyes went back to the ground, and I averted mine to not make him feel more uncomfortable than he already was.

I have him a small smile, which is not something I do, but I wanted him to know that he shouldn't feel uncomfortable around me. "That's good, I'm glad."

He raised his head surprised, mouth slightly open. He then closed it again before opening it to say something. "I'm sorry for what I did back then, I wasn't in the right state of mind-- I'm still not, but I'm better now I swear, and I realized I should have never done what I did and-" he apologized, though it felt more like a ramble than an apology.

"Shut it." I interrupted him, and he immediately shut his mouth, giving me a chance to speak again. "I don't care what you did back then. It's all in the past, so there's no use apologizing now, right?" I turned my head towards him.

"Kazutora, I was never mad at you, nor did I think that anything was wrong with you." I paused, letting out a long sigh before continuing."What you did wasn't intentional. Someone took advantage of your vulnerable state and used it."

I looked at him smiling ever so slightly. "I don't care what happened to me. I'm just glad that you realized what you did was wrong, and I'm proud of you for it. I know it doesn't mean much because you don't know me, but I just wanted to say that, " I finished, sitting up in my seat, and resting my chin on my palm.

Kazutora's eyes widened, and he was speechless. He must've thought who this strange girl was by telling him that she was proud when they haven't even properly met.

"It means a lot, actually," His eyes softened, returning my smile as he admitted. He could tell that she meant what she said by the tone of her voice. It was soft and gentle. It almost came out as a whisper. It made him calm down.

I looked at him, wondering how someone could hurt such a fragile person. He has a kind heart. You can tell by just looking at him. He's been through a lot and is often misunderstood as being rude, vulgar, crazy, etc. But for the short time, I knew him, I never saw him like that, not once.

What I saw was a little boy, scared of losing the people he loves most and being left behind. He was scared, but no one seemed to care, so he pressed that feeling down and did other things to distract himself from ever feeling like that.

For the first time in a while, I gave him a closed eye smile, to which he returned once again.

And that day, Y/N and Kazutora walked out of detention with a newfound friendship.
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Getting back home, completely exhausted from the day I had, I walked into the living room and saw my brother and a couple of his friends. They were laughing and eating snacks.

They heard the door close, and all eyes went to me, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Hey guys, sup loser." I greeted them, and Keisuke last, ruffling his hair in the process. He muttered something, but I couldn't care less.

"Where were you?" Keisuke asked, standing up to get more drinks.

"Detention," I replied, taking a can of coke and heading up to my room. I didn't wanna disturb their hangout so I'll just stay there for a little.