Amnesia

unneeded patient

Ashley

So, I found out the boys who woke me up were 5 Seconds of Summer, who were supposedly very famous. I found out that I've been in a coma for 16 months. I found out the hospital's food tastes horrible. I found out that I can walk. And I found out that I have no family members that are alive, other than an uncle in Hungary.

I asked the nurses why my mother and father weren't alive, but they didn't answer me. I asked why no other family members were alive, but they ignored me. I asked who had been taking care of me before I went into my coma, but they ignored me again. I asked why I went into a coma, and one nurse started to talk, but another stopped her.

I guess I'm a unneeded patient. It's been 2 days in this empty room, getting fed disgusting food, being ignored, having amnesia, trying to remember the past, and exploding my brain.

"Excuse me, Miss?" I asked a nurse who walked in. "Where is the bathroom again?"

"Oh, behind this curtain." She pulled back a curtain in the room, and a door was behind it.

"Thanks." I stood up from my hospital bed and entered the bathroom.

It smelled like disinfectant, and it was a room with a shower, toilet, sink and mirror. I looked in the mirror and saw a girl with brown, bouncy spirals for hair, Chocolate eyes, and olive skin. Her t-shirt and jeans were given to her yesterday, and she was told they were her's when she came to the hospital at first.

Her name was Ashley, and she was me. Unbelievably, me. I wasn't perfect, but I was okay. I just wanted to see myself again. It felt like I had just been released from a dark cage that I had been kept in. A place for buried souls that were lost, like me. I felt like a new person, trying to remember her past, but not being able to.

I was being fed details about who I was supposed to be, but I couldn't process them as my background. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I was being told that everything would be ok, but it seemed like they were confused too. Like I was a forgotten toy on the highest shelf.

Maybe they forgot I was here, and just sent someone to check on me once in a while. They forgot how I worked, how I acted. Because they forgot me from so long ago. Maybe if my family was alive, I could meet them, and be told the amazing stories of my past life. Maybe I could know how Past Ashley acted, how she worked. How she thought, what she liked to do.

Present Ashley didn't know the first thing about this new world. Present Ashley didn't know they first things about herself. When I found out I had been in a coma, I thought about what my family could have been doing. If they were still alive.

Maybe they'd been thinking about me. Maybe they'd been forgetting me. I wish I could just read a book about my past life, so I could be exactly like the Past Ashley everyone knew and loved. So I didn't have to look like that one odd doll in the collection.

The one that didn't belong. The one from a different era, time, world. The one who was lost, confused, scared.The one named Ashley. 

Me.