Fates Entwined (A TodoBaku ff) ✔

XLIX

Shoto avoided Katsuki like the man was his father the next day. He took a different seat at breakfast, as far from the man as he could, and held firmly onto the conversation he was having with Denki whilst blocking out anyone calling his name. Besides, it was hard to hear anything over Denki's excited discussions of how he had been improving his power control. It made Shoto feel proud, but the gut-wrenching sensation in his chest could not be overpowered for long. 

At training he avoided correcting Katsuki if he did anything wrong, which seemed to only frustrate the man further. He kept mostly to the other side of the room, avoiding any sight of blond hair and piercing red eyes. He couldn't face him yet, not with what he had just discovered. He didn't know what to think, what to say, or how to act, let alone acknowledge whatever he himself was feeling. Shoto had never been the recipient of such emotions before and he had no idea what to do about it. 

Training dragged on, and Shoto managed to successfully evade each attempt at interaction that came from the king. He could sense Katsuki's frustration from across the training room, and felt a steel gaze on him throughout lunch whilst he listened to Jirou talk about the instrument she had begun learning. He at least hoped he looked like he was paying attention whilst his mind strayed far and wide. He couldn't remember what it was called. 

It was much harder to avoid Katsuki in group training, as they both supervised the smaller squadron training of the warriors, correcting both Endeavour and Edalian fighting techniques. They had to talk about the ways they could continue to combine the different styles, and whilst this had been something Shoto rather looked forward to during these sessions, right now each second they spent communicating was full of a stifling tension he couldn't shake. He was able to leave training early and skipped dinner, deciding to visit Kita and spend time in his quiet companionship whilst he tried to collect his thoughts. 

Sleep had evaded him entirely the previous night. After leaving the library all he could think about was the knowing look on Masaru's face, the words Aizawa tried to tell him but couldn't when they went to speak to his attempted murderer, how Midoriya had looked so frustrated at breakfast, how each of Katsuki's friends gave both him and the king grins in passing. He tossed and turned and even asked for a visit from the Maiden just so he could escape reality for a short while. Shoto had never experienced such... affection? At least, not in the way he believed Katsuki was trying to show to him. He wasn't sure how to deal with it, if he should acknowledge it or put it away for later and focus on the war effort. But how could he do that when he sometimes spent the entire day with the man?

So sleep evaded him, and he evaded Katsuki, and now he was feeding Kita apples whilst trying to rest his racing heart that had been beating out of rhythm all day. He knew Katsuki would be mad at him for ignoring him, the man despised when he wasn't given the right amount of attention, commanded or desired. But how could Shoto face him? How could they continue whatever relationship they had now Shoto knew the truth? He thought they had become friends, that the king had accepted him just as the Tribes did after weeks of a tense and fragile relationship. Alongside that, everyone else seemed to know the truth before Shoto and how would that translate if he and Katsuki were to ever be in a relationship? And on top of that, the fact they were to have an arranged marriage in the first place complicated things. Whether it was through his own actions or not, it was destined for Shoto to be here, and was he the only option Katsuki had? Was he simply convenient? Was he-

"Oi, breathe idiot."

Shoto let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding, the pressure in his lungs releasing painfully. It was a weak, shuddery thing, but with strong resolve he didn't turn around to the voice that had spoken to him, instead focusing on running the brush carefully through Kita's mane.