Beyond Repair (Beyond Series #1)

Chapter 41

I checked my call logs and saw tons of missed calls. Some are from Denise, Aye and Thesa, but most are from Javi. Mas lalo lamang akong nakaramdam ng kaba.

Ano'ng meron?

I don't have Twitter, Facebook and Instagram on my phone anymore. I uninstalled all of it for the sake of my peace of mind. And for some reason, I feel more scared to log in. Para bang may hindi ako magandang makikita.

Kabado, nagtipa ako ng mensahe para kay Javi.

Ako:

I'm back home. I'm sorry I was unable to contact you. Where are you? Did something happen?

He should be awake by now. Maaga siyang nagigising. He's always checking his phone naman, so I was hopeful that he would reply.

But 10 minutes later, he didn't.

So, I decided to call him. Not once but thrice. I couldn't reach him. Tatlong beses ko siyang tinawagan pero tatlong beses ko ring narinig ang parehong boses ng operator. His number cannot be reached.

What the fuck is happening?

Wala pa man ay naiiyak na ako. Wala pa man akong alam sa kung ano ang nangyayari ay naluluha na agad ako. This is probably just me, overthinking, and I know I shouldn't.

"Calm down, Dan..." bulong ko.

"Baka busy lang 'yon—ba't ba naiiyak ka agad?" saway ko sa sarili.

But, considering everything that happened to us, I just couldn't help it. Pakiramdam ko, palaging babawiin ng sakit ang anumang saya na naramdaman ko.

Ito na ba 'yon? Ito na ba ang kapalit? Bakit ang bilis naman?

Pero baka naman tulog lang siya? O baka busy? Ang daming posibilidad at dapat ay hindi ako umiiyak agad!

Stop overthinking, Dana! You're not helping yourself!

I sat on my bed as I burried my face on my pillow, crying as quietly as I could. At the same time, I'm holding my phone while religiously waiting for anything from him.

Not to invalidate my own feelings, but I seriously think I'm overreacting. Why can't I just calm down and wait for his reply?

But why isn't he replying, anyway? Why is his number unreachable? What's with his urgent text messages and missed calls?

Did he leave me? Ayaw na ba niya?

Pansamantala akong nahinto sa pag-iyak nang makarinig ng mga katok sa pinto.

"Gising ka na ba?"

It was Denise. She should be at school at this hour. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang mukha at tumikhim bago sumagot.

"Mamaya na ako bababa."

Not when I look like shit.

"Wow, ang relaxed mo naman? Just so you know, pumunta dito si Kuya Javi kahapon at alalang-alala sa'yo kasi hindi ka daw nagre-reply."

That piqued my interest. Nabuhayan ako ng loob. Nakaramdam ako ng hiya dahil nag-overthink agad.

"At 'wag ka nga magmukmok diyan. Alam mo naman sa social media, madaming feeling all-knowing. 'Wag mo na dibdibin 'yon. Hindi naman totoo 'yon."

Sa sinabi niya ay mas lalo lang akong nagtaka. Matagal na akong hindi gumagamit ng social media dahil wala namang naidudulot sa aking maganda. May nangyari ba talaga?

"Denise? Ano'ng meron?"

I let Denise enter my room only to be scolded by her, when she found me crying for overthinking.