When One Finds an Undertaker

Chapter 18

There was still a storm going on, and I had to stay the night at the manor. I was given a guestroom, far from everyone else. I understood they wanted to be safe, but it upset me. I sat on the soft bed, sitting up, my knees drawn to my chest, my head down. I began to silently cry. I'm a monster, I thought. I cannot even control myself. I'm going to kill someone again one of these days. I decided, after a few hours of tears, that I would walk home. I wrote a small note thanking Ciel Phantomhive for his wonderful hospitality and an apology to Sebastian for hurting him. I then walked out the door, wearing a simple black dress.

I walked through the horrible storm, my tears mingling with the raindrops. I cried and walked until I eventually collapsed in the middle of who knew where from sheer exhaustion. I was chilled and soaked to the bone. I knew I should at least attempt to continue on, but I had no reason that I could think of, so I stayed on the ground, tears falling down my face. Soon, sleep overcame me, and I fell into a long and weary sleep, filled with screams and shrieks of pain and horror.

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In the morning, I awoke and stood, shaking off my weariness, everything from the day before flooding back to me. Tears began to form and I walked on, my dress soaked. I made it to Undertaker's shop and wondered whether or not to open the door and enter. I shook my head and continued walking, not wanting to force Undertaker to deal with me. Tears fell down my face, and I ignored the stares people gave me.

I heard someone call my name, but I ignored them, my hands tightening.

"Nicu! Honestly, are you so angry with me, that you will ignore me?!" William grabbed my arm and I flinched. He loosened his grip, but made no move to let go. Tears stung my eyes as I fought them back. "What's wrong? Why are you all wet and tired?" I looked at him, seeing concern in his eyes.

"Leave me alone, I've already hurt a demon," I mumbled, pulling my arm away. William would not let go, however, and began pulling me to Undertaker's shop. "William! Leave me alone!" I yanked my arm back, trying to pull away. He would not let go.

"You are in a condition in which you cannot get sick! You must go back to him," he said, opening the shop door. "Undertaker!" Undertaker popped his head into view, holding his hat in one hand. It dropped to the ground when he saw me. He ran to me, pulling me into his arms and holding me tightly.

"Nicu! I thought you were hurt or in trouble! Don't scare me like that!" I pretended to ignore all his cries, tears flowing down my face. I was a monster and did not deserve such loving words.

"What do you mean by condition?" I asked, looking at William. He said, "You have a child inside of you." My eyes widened and I tightened my hands in fear.

"A ch-child?!" He nodded, and I felt dizzy. I did not hear any other words he nor Undertaker said, the world becoming numb and dark. I passed out in Undertaker's arms, not feeling well.

I would not awake for a few days, but I would be fine, according to Undertaker.

My love. My only love.

Could he understand this? Understand the monster inside? Would he want to?