𓈊 Petal's Diary

Entry #45

i hate jimmy.

i hate him. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him. i HATE him.

i hate him more than zach. he had no right to treat me like that, especially after hurting me. and to say that to me- i hate him.

i was an idiot for ever thinking i was safe around him. for thinking i would be able to trust him and relax around him. i'm a fool. why would anybody be nice enough for me to trust them? why would anybody be safe to be around? i'm not even safe for myself. why would anyone else be?

but I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve to be walked over by other people. by other boys. I deserved better than them.

I stayed at ms. gold's house when she offered, and I vented the whole night about all that happened in the last two or three months. zach, joey, dante, cole, pearl, lauren, my parents, jimmy, fwhip, gem, grian, joel. all of it.

I slept like a log that night. and when I went back to school the next day, zach offered to make a deal with me.

"I saw what happened between you and that jimmy kid," he said. "and I've realised that... that's how I've been treating you all this time."

I stared blankly at him, shocked. I was going to break up with him, that was the whole reason I went up to him in the first place.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry," zach said finally, and I stepped back a little.

"what?"

zach sighed. "I understand if you don't forgive me because I've been awful to you, and-"

"are you drunk?" I asked cautiously, and he laughed.

"no, I'm not drunk," he said. "but I, uh... I wanted to make a quick deal with you."

there it was. that's the zach I knew and hated. "what is it?"

"If you give me a second chance to prove I can be a better boyfriend, just until the end of the week," he said. "after friday, you can break up with me if you want. but if you give me this week to make everything up to you, I'll take you to see your sister."

I have never said yes faster in my life.