𓈊 Petal's Diary

Entry #7

TW for mention of devil's tango, homophobia, and physical abuse

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there are two times i can remember crying until i couldn't breathe. the first, when my father kicked me out of the house. we'd been having dinner with pearl and joey over, and i was unfortunate enough to be sat right next to that jerk.

"this chicken is amazing, aunt delia," joey said before taking a very long sip of water. i knew he was lying because he never would drink that much water after eating something that tasted good. besides, mother's cooking wasn't the best. dry, usually, and unseasoned.

but mother believed it, smiling and shaking her head. "you're too kind." he really was.

i'd dropped my fork and gone to pick it up when i heard joey taking to father about me.

"i don't know how you deal with someone so naughty as scott," joey said disappointedly.

i lifted my head above the table. "what?"

joey smirked at me. "it's just that..." he sighed and turned back to my father. "scott has a new friend that he likes to hang out with a lot. zach. i'm sure you've heard of him, scott never stops talking about him." i shrunk in my seat at the way he said that, feeling ashamed about being so annoying. "lord, the things those to get up to..."

as soon as he pulled out his phone, i knew what he was talking about. he pulled up a video and showed it to father, and i felt my cheeks heat up when i heard extremely lewd noises. most which had come from me.

i'll never forget the way father looked at me. like i was disgusting, less than human. an animal.

"get out of my house," he said. it wasn't the first time he'd told me to leave, but he never really meant it.

"i'm really sorry, father," i frantically tried to apologize. "i- i don't even know how joey got that video, i swear-"

"get out of my house," my father repeated, more sternly than the last time. "i've tolerated your disobedience for too long, and now look where it's gotten you. my son is a whore. shameful."

i couldn't help the nagging feeling that my father actually meant it this time when he said he wanted me out. but i didn't move from my seat. i couldn't. i was frozen, shocked and embarrassed and ashamed. i knew it would've been a dumb idea to have sex with zach, but i did it anyway. and look where it got me.

before i knew it, father was grabbing me by my hair and dragging me toward the door. i was immediately sobbing and screaming, begging him to stop. but even all the riches in the world wouldn't make him stop.

i ended up out of his hold at some point and started to run, but he grabbed me around the waist and threw me onto the floor so he could pull me by my feet.

i tried everything i could to make him stop; kicking, grabbing onto the walls, begging, telling him i'd change. but nothing worked.

he picked me up and tossed me outside like i was a bag of garbage, causing me to gain numerous scrapes on my arms and legs. he slammed the door shut and i began crying again when heard it lock.

i spent the night wailing on the front porch until i passed out from the cold and exhaustion.