how do I grieve what was never real on your side?
do I look towards victorian mourning, cut a piece of your braided black hair and store it in a locket close to my heart, even if you're not dead?
do I ask for a custom made grave with the words of our friendship carved into smooth stone?
do I throw all the things you gave me in a box and shove it under my bed like a breakup that'll be sour on your memory and tongue for the next few years?
they teach you how to get over ex lovers and dead people and stuff but NOBODY tells you how to get over an old friend that's still fully alive
your smile is carved into my frontal lobe, your laugh echoes emptily through my lungs, your handprint is fossilized in my heart, and the fact that you love bunnies sits in the deepest wells of my stomach making me nauseous everytime I wake up.
you never liked me. I know you didn't. but I liked you, and I really wanted you to like me. please, for a moment, peer into my eyes and I'll be vulnerable through them and tell me if you can see me as your best friend again. or whatever I was to you.
I'm fighting in this chapter for something that's already gone. there's claw marks on her hands and arms because I really tried holding on. not because she was walking away from me, but because I was being dragged away from her. we were temporary in each other's lives and that's the worst part, that temporary is ALL we were
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. you still sit next to me for 3 classes every single day but the seat next to me is completely devoid of you
