If you didn't know, I did discover quite recently that I'm aromantic.
and it was hard. loving someone and being loved back was all I ever wanted in my life.
all my dreams were of finding my perfect other half, finding the one thing that could make me happy,
romance wasn't it. I thought it was, but it wasn't.
and today I discovered were I truly am happy
sitting in a squeaky chair. in a small, warm apartment, right next to my platonic soulmate, beading matching rings and bracelets, and watching a kid's show with anticipation and excitement building with every episode.
being by myself in a cold kitchen at 5 am, pure silence. when the sun is rising and beautiful gold beams are leaking through dirty windows, with the sensation of perfect peace replacing where your anxiety usually sits, watching your coffee machine gently stream black coffee into your cup. all the sugar and syrups you add sitting to the side.
staying out late at night with a pet. watching the moon rise into the sky with the soft calling of owls you were always scared of as a kid, your fluffy best friend nuzzled as close as possible into your touch as they can get.
if I can't love romantically, I will love in every other way. I will love my best friend. I will love the grass, the smell of coffee, the sun and moon, every star in the sky, every fuzzy blanket waiting for me, every box of pretty beads and string waiting to be crafted into sentimental art, and every time I smile at my reflection and it looks like he's smiling just as big back at me.
I love love. doesn't have to be romantic. I love loving.
