You can only love me when I take a cookie cutter to my gender identity and give you a girl. There's much much more when you look at it, but that's the specific shape you want.
They warned us being gender non-conforming was not easy and not nice. I listened, of course, but I can't deny it still hurts when people break off the feminine end of me.
I think deep down I have some internalized problems from what I heard during my childhood. Some fears that I won't outgrow the more I discover myself.
I think that's why it hurts so much. The judgment of the world's eyes and my own are piercing though my body like swords.
Do you hear me? I know you don't, that's why I have the courage to say this. You hurt me a lot because I can see you only like me when I'm what you perceive a female to be
I am unkept, unreliable, undefined. Please stop looking at me, even my own reflection embarasses me.
What did that one reshared post on Instagram always say? Being loved comes with the mortifying ordeal of being known, I think. Don't love me for a while. Don't look at me for a while.
I'm not ready to be known.
