Let me Love you | TK

Chapter:18

I am so sorry for late update loves. I made you all wait.
Hope this chapter will make up for the delay!!!
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Jungkook's POV:

He's having a hard time sleeping. I can sense it through the repetitive rustling of sheets as he changes his sides. Tosses and turns repeatedly.

He is restless for some reason that I don't know of. I will fix whatever that's troubling him. Just as soon as I find out what it is.

He does not do that usually. Sleep comes to gradually but steadily. And once he's in deep slumber, he cuddles to whatever he finds near him which is a pillow mostly.. or me, for that millisecond on the nights that I carry him to our bed. My favorite kind of nights.

Our bed? But is it really ours? I don't think so.

I sigh.

Maybe he doesn't like me carrying him anymore. I was actually surprised he let me do that for him, all this time.

There are days when I feel like our relationship is progressing.. not in a way a married couple's do. Of course. But as two people living together. Sharing a room. Sharing their time together. Just being civil with each other you can say? Or a bit friendly...

Friendly? I mock myself for the second time. Friend is the last thing, Taehyung can be for me. Because friends don't make their friend feel like the way Taehyung do to me.

My heart longs for him so often that I can hardly think of anything else. No matter what I am doing, I find myself back to him.

I always think about him before I fall asleep. The words he said, as well as the curve of his lips when he said them. The things he laughed about or the silent, rare moments we shared. And when I dream. I dream of him. Because it's about him.

It has always been him.
It. Will. Always. Be. Him.

And then, there are days he's so detached. He feels so close yet so far. It feels like there is million of miles distance between us that will never let me reach to him.

That will never Let me Love him.

The fact I still have over 11 months together, relieves me and terrifies me at the same time. Because I am running out of time...

I regret not taking a chance years ago. I should have talked to him. Win him over. I wonder if we would have been married for real now if I had tried all those years ago.

But I was too afraid to try. Too scared of rejection that I choose to walk away because that seemed like an easy option to me that time. To walk away.

I didn't know back then that his warmth feels so comforting when he takes you in his arms that you fall asleep and fall in love right then and there or how his sleeping face looks so soft as he lies snuggly under the covers or that he eats with a pout when he's enjoying his food or how much cuddly he looks when he wakes up in the morning,  rubbing his eyes with his sweater paws-

I didn't know back then how it feels being in love with him.

It's not going to be the same when we part ways. It's going to hurt this time. So much more.

I need to stop thinking about the future and start thinking about present. The present where he can't sleep and I should help him.

"Do you wanna hear a story from my childhood" I gather up some courage to say. "Apparently hearing stories help to sleep"

He doesn't answer "You are not asleep Taehyung. I know"

"I am not. But clearly trying to. Silence would be appreciated" his reply comes instantly as he turns to other side so that his back is facing me now.