PARADISE OF THE DEVIL (GONCALVES 1)

Chapter 11

There were mistakes that we could learn from and could grow the best of. Although not entirely, there were some that we considered a total regret and should not. Kissing him back was one of those. I couldn't tell if it was the way he kissed or if I was already tipsy enough to be more drunk.

I cut the kiss. I had to before I lost myself with his grip and surrendered myself before him. I collected all my strength to push and left him by the window. I couldn't be one of his victims. I'd rather be the one who left than be thrown over.

I didn't care about my life status because I could make myself great. I didn't care about age because I could be mature and rational. I didn't care about my looks because I knew I could be beautiful in some way. But to be mixed up on Jair was something I couldn't make myself.

I made mistakes... sleeping with men I didn't know much about, and I regret all of them. I didn't want to do it... it made me disgusted with myself. Jair must be thinking I was easy, and I hated it. He must be thinking I was one of those girls and I was afraid he might not be wrong.

He could think that I was hard to get, and I liked to be chased but I was dead serious I didn't want to sleep with him. He could stop whenever he felt like it.

Bumaba ako ng pool area para hanapin ang mga kaibigan kong busy kasama ang ilang kaibigan ni Jair. Wala akong planong magswimming pero hinubad ko ang suot ko at sumakay sa may watermelon na floater.

"Hi! I'm Kenneth," pakilala ng lalaking lumapit sa akin na nagsswimming din. "You are?"

"Eden," sagot ko atsaka umiwas ng tingin para ipakitang hindi ako interesado sa kanya pero mukhang hindi nya nakuha ang pinapahiwatig ko dahil hinila nya ang sinasakyan kong floater sa gitna ng pool.

"You're pretty sexy," he said.

"T-Thanks... huwag mo akong hilahin, gusto ko sa may gilid lang," sabi ko sa kanya.

Bago ko marinig ang sagot nya ay may biglang tumalon at tumalsik ang tubig sa gawi namin. Hindi ko na kailangang lumubog sa tubig dahil basang-basa na ako.

Mukhang kaibigan nya ang tumalon dahil nang umahon ay nagtawanan sila. I paddled my hand to get away from them and went back to where I was at.

Napalingon ako nang may tumigil sa floater ko at nakita ko na naman si Kenneth. Ano ba ang kailangan ng lalaking ito? Wala ako sa mood mang-entertain sa kanya.

"Who are you friends with here? Ngayon lang kita nakita," aniya.

"I'm friends with Jair," sagot ko.

"Just friends?"

I scowled. "Oo."

"Why are you so upset? Nagtatanong lang," natatawang sabi nya.

Kinuha ko ang pagkakahawak ng kamay nya sa floater ko. Nakakainis! Ang dami naman ng bisita dito na pwede nyang madisturbo.

"Let's enjoy some drinks," aya nya.

"I already had some and I'm trying to sober up. So please, leave me alone," pakiusap ko sa kanya.

"Kenneth, don't bother her!" Malalim ang boses ni Jair nang sabihin nya ito kay Kenneth.

"Sure, bro." Kenneth then stepped back and went to join his friends.

Hindi ko nilingon si Jair dahil hindi ko sya kayang tignan ngayon. Iniwan ko na nga sya sa taas kanina. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko pa sya hinanap kanina. Sana hinayaan ko nalang syang nawala sa paningin ko.

May lumubog sa gilid ko at hindi iko na kailangang lingunin pa para makumpiramng si Jair ito. Umikot ang sinakyan kong floater at napilitang humarap sa kanya.