PARADISE OF THE DEVIL (GONCALVES 1)

Chapter 16

It was my fault. I tolerated her so much thinking that it was fine cause I'd been there, and I'd done that. I was a great slut in my college days. And between the two of us, I thought I was the one irresponsible, na ako yung mas pariwara.

She always topped her class, and I was just so-so. She was very diligent and always studied the reason why I had high hopes for her. I dreamed big because of her. I wanted her to see the world without working as hard as me.

I didn't want her to ever feel doubt, low, and insecure. I wanted her to be always proud and accomplished. I expected a lot from her without pressuring her or losing her youth. I was willing to do anything for her, for my family.

Youth was the most important thing. It was the time between the fantasy and reality. It was the time when you best shape your emotions, mentality, and spirit. I wished for her to focus on herself without worrying about anything.

I was not inhumane to let her have an abortion. The family of the boyfriend was amenable to support both of them and my parents were. Who was I to not? Who was I to be the only one hurt like this? Who was I to feel deserted and sold out?

I should be happy for my sister. I should at least feel better that both of their parents were supportive. She'd still go to school and promised me that she'd do well and not her pregnancy be a hindrance.

I talked to his boyfriend. He was scared to answer my questions or even talk. He looked okay but I still didn't approve of him. He might turn out to be someone who would hurt my sister eventually. I couldn't trust him.

I couldn't still forgive my sister or talk to her. She kept ringing my phone, but I had been ignoring her since I left. I'd just get angry at her, and it would not do me good. So, I'd rather lock myself here in my room.

I refused Rach's invitation of shopping and made an excuse for not feeling well. I didn't want to join the party tonight, but it would be helpful for me to forget. However, I had a debut to attend to tomorrow, though it was in the afternoon.

When 8 p.m. struck, I went out of bed to freshen out with a shower. I heard Rach calling me who entered my room. They were planning to eat outside for dinner, and I had refused already since I had to budget my money more.

"Susunod nalang ako sa inyo," sagot ko pagkalabas ng banyo.

"Namamaga ang mga mata mo. Umiyak ka ba? O sobra sa tulog?" tanong nya.

"Nag-away kami ng kapatid ko," kibit balikat na sagot ko at pinigilang hindi maiyak. "Mauna na kayo."

"Kukunin ka ba ni Jair?" tanong nya.

"Hindi. Sa bar na siguro tayo magkikita," sagot ko.

"Yung sasakyan ni Joerex ang dadalhin. Magtaxi ka nalang kung ganun para sabay na tayong umuwi mamaya," aniya.

I nodded.

"Sige. May instant curry sa ref. Eoven mo nalang," bilin nya.

"Okay. See you."

Umupo ako sa harap ng salamin atsaka tinignan ang sarili. Mukhang kailangan ko ng matte powder sa mga mata ko para hindi halatang namamaga. Habang naglalagay ako ng make up ay biglang nag-ingay ang phone ko sa kama.

I had to finish fixing my face, so I had to ignore it. Baka yung kapatid ko na naman ang tumatawag kaya mas mabuting pabayaan na muna.

I searched for a dress to wear tonight and found my cantaloupe satin cami dress. It was tied backless, sleeveless, and with a plunging neck. I bought this one at the most favorable price online last month. I also grabbed my white transparent 2-inch heel at the bottom of my closet.