PARADISE OF THE DEVIL (GONCALVES 1)

Chapter 28

I did my best to not like him so much. I did my best to be mean and rude. I did my best to carry out these cursed feelings I possessed towards him in hiding. I expected his answer, but I got so disappointed and I couldn't tell how devastated it made me.

"W-Why?" I painfully asked.

"You already know why," deretsahang sagot nya.

Naguguluhan akong umiling sa sinabi nya. "Look at me!" I ordered him and then I met his pair of cold eyes. "What's the meaning of all of this?"

"Nothing," he replied which sounded so empty and dead.

"Why'd you do all of this?" I asked. "Take the trouble of going to Baguio with me? Visit me at work to have lunch. Inviting me to dinner without a reason?"

He dropped his weight to the back of his chair. Looking so done, he said, "That doesn't mean I will marry you, Eden."

I was just like most of the other women. I got so attached easily and small attention could fascinate me. I was a woman, a poorly made glass. And Jair's grip was loose, I fell and shattered.

I stood up and was ready to leave his flat without touching the food he prepared. "Don't you ever show your face again to me! Or call me!"

"Why would you act like that?" hindi makapaniwalang habol nya sa akin. "It's not like I promised to marry you or something."

He was right. He didn't. He fucked me and made me feel special but it didn't mean he was going to marry me. He not wanting to marry Lilia, didn't mean he was marrying me.

"Then stop doing or saying things that are meaningless." I tried to calm my voice but it sounded more hurt than the ones seconds ago.

"Why? We are both enjoying it. We can both benefit from doing this," he insisted, coldly.

Nalaglag ang panga ko at hilaw na natawa sa narinig mula sa kanya. This was the reason why I didn't want to talk to him sooner, I saw how it'd end, and this was exactly what I imaged.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked when I couldn't give him a response.

How dare he ask what was wrong with me? He was the reason why I was like this. His stupid words and trapping actions made me act like this. He couldn't be so dumb to not notice what I was trying to do and what my feelings were for him.

"Uuwi na muna ako," mahinang sagot ko.

Wala na akong mukhang ihaharap pa sa kanya. Masyado akong umasa sa sinabi ni Madam. I thought about it a lot and I had been so pessimistic towards it but still, I hoped.

"We were just fine. Have you been so disturbed about what my mother said to you? She just wants me to marry as soon as possible and share it with Lilia, but then she saw you with me, she thought it was gonna be real this time," he reasoned.

Nothing really was real between us. He was such a player and a jerk. He played me so well he could get the highest record. He was a great actor he could win an award.

"You can fuck yourself, Jair. I'm not gonna ever sleep with you!" sigaw ko sa kanya bago tumalikod at nagpatuloy na lumabas ng unit nya.

He was just so sweet the last time we were together. Why would he be so cold just after a few days without seeing each other? He invited me for dinner, it should be about something special, right?

I couldn't be weak for my family... and maybe I just wanted to be with him and be who I ever wanted to be. I had friends to approach but it was different when it was with him. I just liked him so much, I'd choose to be with him.

"Eden!"

I didn't bother turning back to give him notice. He already said no to my question. What else could he want?