Golden Boy- Pedri

CH 40- Ruins

PEDRIS POV!
PEDRIS POV!

"Fuck you". Y/N said, as she stood up and walked away.

I deserved it.
I watched her as she left. I still couldn't take my eyes away from her.

I couldn't believe I had just done that.

I sat there for a few minutes. The music blasting loudly,  everyone else lost in the world of drinking and dancing.
I needed some alone time.

I walked out of the club, and on my way back to the hotel, I messaged Gavi to tell him that I left and would just be in the room.

I opened the door, and sat on the bed, my face buried in my hands as I thought about what I did.

Having feelings for the girl.... caused me to self-sabotage.

When I had my heart broken by my ex, it made me wary and nervous about finding someone else, until Y/N came along and made me believe there were good people still left in the world.

I was the luckiest man that ever had the honor of meeting her.
And I was the stupidest because I lost her now.

That was my problem.
I destroy the good things...the good people.... the one good person that came into my life.

And the girl that I was talking to at the game today and was at the nightclub with....She was no one special.
She was a distraction, to try and convince myself that I didn't need Y/N.
But I did.

Every part of me craved her.

I always want to be around her.
I want to be there with her and be there for her.
I want to hold her, to kiss her.
I want to be with her through everything.
And I want her to be with me.

The truth was, I was scared.

Liking someone, and eventually falling in love made me terrified.
And a girl like her could break my heart in a second.
But tonight, I had done that exact thing to her.

I kept telling myself that I couldn't fall for Y/N.

Even though I think I already had...

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An hour later, I was watching the tv, when Gavi opened the door.
Well...watching was a bit of a reach. I had put the tv on to try and distract myself from everything that unfolded, but Y/N was still the only thing on my mind.

"Tu Estupido," Gavi said, anger filling his voice as I looked up.
"Pablito please", I started to say. I was still sitting on the bed, and he stood in front of me. He reached for the remote and turned the tv off.
"What did you do Pepi?"
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what good talking would do. He wouldn't understand, no one would.

I had ruined it completely between Y/N and me.
All because I was scared of my feelings.

Instead, I decided to lie.
I couldn't tell the truth.
Because what good would the truth do now?

"Pedri. What happened?" Gavi asked again.

"Nothing. She and I were just never friends. She's too much."
 I couldn't even look my best friend in the eye.

"I can't believe you. And I don't." Gavi shook his head. "I know you liked her. And she liked you."

Hearing him say that made me twitch on the inside.

I know, I felt like saying. But I wrecked everything because I don't know how to deal with my feelings.

Rather, I just said "I never liked her. Just stop man."
"No. You're my brother, and I know you."
"Then you'll know that I never liked her."

"You're an idiot you know that." Gavi frowned. "After I got your text, Carmen and I left the club because we thought you two were hanging out and we wanted to join you guys. We walked into their room and saw Y/N crying. She stopped crying as soon as she saw us, because you know, she doesn't like to be upset in front of other people. But she told us what happened."
Gavi sat down on the bed next to me. "I know you liked her. And you like her now. You probably always will. But you're scared. And now you've fucked it up."

I closed my eyes and let out a breath.
He knows me too well. And he was right.

I had destroyed everything.