Torn / Kylo|Ben x Reader

•fix you•

Warning! There's a bit of blood play in this towards the end.

Wink wink, nudge nudge.

I hope this makes up for me being MIA xx

You woke to the morning sun shining on your face through your window. You nuzzled your head into your pillow and sighed. Your mind was foggy and your body seemed to ache as you stretched out beneath the covers.

You bumped into a warm body behind you, earning a deep groan from him.

His hands were wrapped tightly around your middle, one of his large hands skimming your breast. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and sighed.

You slowly rolled over so that you were facing him, still tangled in his long arms and legs. His eyes fluttered open when you nestled your head on his pillow. They were a soft golden brown and they looked absolutely beautiful in the morning light. Regardless of how pretty they are, they still held such a somber, longing look.

Neither of you said anything. The two of you just gazed at each other for what felt like eternity. You admired all of the moles and freckles that were scattered across his face and those plush lips. You reached up and moved his hair away from his face so you could study him even closer. His brow furrowed as you traced his scar with your thumb, gently brushing over it in a comforting way.

He closed his eyes and nuzzled into your touch, a comfortable breath escaping through his nostrils. He pulled you closer, if that was even possible. He was so warm and solid against you that you didn't want to move. He smelt divine.

He was far from perfect, you knew that. The amount of shit he had going on in his life and how he handled himself was far from ideal. But when he was like this, it was easy to see passed all of the ugly sides of him. Knowing that his ex wife had hurt him again was eating away at you from the inside out.

You leant up and pressed your lips against the tip of his long nose before travelling down the side of his face to his neck.

He groaned and reached up to hold the back of your neck. "What are you doing?" He mumbled.

Your kissed his throat and then his lips. "I want you," you whispered.

He opened his eyes and stared at you. "You're not thinking straight." He said. "You're going to regret it."

He was right. You weren't thinking straight. Ben was in hospital and all you were worried about was Kylo. But you needed him. Not because you wanted to get off, it had nothing to do with that. It was that you wanted to be closer to him. After what he did for you last night, you wanted nothing more than to give yourself to him. You wanted to be the last woman that had him. You wanted him to take his mind off Adeline. You knew he was hurting inside. Perhaps he didn't want to have sex and he still felt uneasy about it after what happened yesterday. But you wanted him to have you. You wanted to give yourself to him so that the last person he had, was you.

"I won't regret it," you said. "I want you to have me. I want you to forget about her."

He stared at you for a moment, as if trying to figure out if it was a good idea or not. Both of you knew how wrong it was to be having sex while Ben was in hospital. But you tried to push that thought to the back of your mind for now.

"If you don't want to I understand, Kylo." You mumbled, cradling his face. "I just want—"

You couldn't finish what you wanted to say because his lips were on yours. He leant over you and nudged you onto your back, parting your legs with his muscular thigh.

His tongue swiped over your bottom lip as his large hand came up to cradle your face. He sighed into your mouth as he deepened the kiss, his tongue entwining with your own. You couldn't help the little moan that escaped your chest. You reached up and held his face in both of your hands, occasionally travelling to his hair and down his neck.