Every Breath You Take

55

It's half past two in the morning when I finally shut the front door, the engine of Kaden's car rumbling down the street as he leaves. He'd declined my offer to stay the night, but I understood when he said that his mama would probably be worried if he wasn't home the next morning. Usually, when Kaden stayed over, his mama was the first one to know where he was and what he was doing. She was protective, but so was our dad. 

Tugging off my sneakers near the stairs, my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness of our home. Everyone is asleep, and rightfully so. Today... Well, yesterday now, was an emotional rollercoaster for all of us. I can't remember ever crying as much as I did yesterday. Hell, I don't even remember the last time I allowed myself to cry as openly and freely to my family as I did yesterday, but I was proud of myself. Proud of us. I think every single one of us, no matter the demons we'd been internally battling, found courage in one another to begin taking them on head-on. And that was a step in the right direction for each one of us. So, no matter how hard yesterday had been, yesterday had been ironically one of the best days of my life as well.

Mom would be proud of us. I know she would be.

If she were here right now, she'd have that smile on her face. The one she always wore when I won awards at school for academic excellence, when Isaac made a touchdown, and when Aiden drew something beautiful for her. She would gather all of us in her arms and lather us with kisses, murmuring how proud she was. And even though Isaac was in his twenties and Aiden and I were on the verge of adulthood, all three of us would be little kids again in her arms, the spirits of who we once were delighted to be in her presence just one last time.

But she wasn't here, and she would never stand before me again, and that was okay. I knew she was proud of us, regardless of where she stood. She always would be. 

A small smile spread across my lips as I climbed the stairs, headed to the closed door of my room. As I was about to press the door open, I stopped, the sound of mom's piano gently lulling through the hallway. Turning towards the sound, I found the music room's door opened just the slightest.

Moonlight cascaded from the room's window, and the light gently illuminated the smooth wood of the piano that lay within. I thought of mom again. Of Kaden, and something warm crawled through my belly from what happened tonight. At the thought that... I almost... kissed him.

Something was changing within me. I was changing, and the way I looked at Kaden said it all. I just... I didn't even know where to start with any of it. I didn't know what I called Kaden, besides a best friend. I didn't even know what I was feeling or where the hell it had come from. All I knew was that I was going to kiss Kaden. I would've. And that scared me so much. God, it scared me.

Tip-toeing towards the music room, I push the door all the way open.

"Dad?" I whispered. 

He sat at the bench, his fingers dancing gently over the keys. The room was dark, save for the moonlight coming in from the window, but the natural light was angelic.

"Hey, kiddo. Can't sleep?" He asks, looking up from the piano.

I shake my head, walking deeper into the room. "No, Kaden just dropped me off. We were goofing around at Violet's for a while." My cheeks heat and I chuckle softly. "He tried to get me to dance with him."

Dad arches a brow at me. "Tell me you didn't leave the poor kid hanging."

"Don't worry. Who am I to turn down the desperate and needy?"

Dad snorted, rolling his eyes at me. "Your brothers are horrible influences on you."

I snicker. "Why? Because I don't let pretty boys sway me so easily?"