SU

1

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(NOT: BÖLÜMÜN TÜRKÇE YAZILI HALİ AŞAĞIDA)
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Even though it was specially decorated for me, it was still a hospital room. Although I spent more time in this room than in my own room, I couldn't get used to it.

On my birthday, if my father was in Istanbul, he would come with a cake that I couldn't even taste and blow out a candle to make my new birthday wish come true.

My birthday was about two and a half months away and it seemed that I was going to enter my new age in this room like all my other birthdays.

There was a knock on my door. In the doorway I saw my father's head first, smiling at me as always. He had bags in both hands. He put the bags in a corner. He came to me. We talked a little bit about school, a little bit about the association I run, a little bit about art, and about my flower he gave me as a gift.

I don't know why, but my father got me involved in the business of the holding company at a very young age. Even as a child, he made me read the holding company documents even though I didn't understand them. Over time, I understood what the documents I was reading were, and then I started to see the mistakes and comment on them. Maybe he thought that one day I would take his place, so he started to prepare me then. Who knows. He took the bags from where he had left them and put them on the table between us. Without objection, I opened the top bag and there was a small box covered in black velvet.

"I had your mom design it, it's special for you. I didn't want to wait for your birthday to give it to you when it was finished. This design is called LIFE AGAIN. One was produced."
They looked so beautiful. Even though I had no eyebrows, hair or eyelashes, I put them on my ears and looked in the mirror.

"Just as I thought. They look great on you. Goodbye, my beautiful daughter."
That was my last memory of my father.

My condition was getting worse and my congenitally tired heart could no longer take the treatment I was receiving. Either I was going to die during the last session or I was going to stop the treatment and die two months later. I stopped the treatment so I could see my father for the last time. Fate. I did not see my father after that day. He died on 10.04.2005 at the age of 40 due to a traffic accident. It was recorded that he died in a traffic accident. After that date, the dungeon I lived in became darker.

Two days after my father's death, I don't know how it happened, but a compatible heart was found. Was life trying to show me its generosity by telling me that I was taking your father away but giving you life in return, or was it trying to tell me that you still had more to suffer?
When I came out of the intensive care unit after the surgery, I met the real face of my family. That day I also met the system my father had set up for himself. For three years I investigated my father's accident. First I got the audio recording of my father's last phone call. Then other information. Even though I knew I couldn't intervene, I couldn't digest what had been done to my father. After what I learned, I had the same nightmare every night for three years.
I was in the same nightmare again.

My father's phone was ringing. He picked it up. It was my mother. She said that I was very bad, that I could not get out of this crisis and that she had to come as soon as possible so that she could see me for the last time. Even though he was going there by private jet, he couldn't take off because of the weather, so he decided to come by land. As we were driving on the foggy road in the darkness of the night, a light suddenly appeared from across the road and the inevitable collision happened. The car on the other side dragged my father's car for a while and my father's car rolled down a slope and fell into the stream. "Dad, come to your senses. Dad, please come to your senses," but he couldn't hear me. Suddenly the same man appeared out of the darkness whose face I could not see.