All of Me

26

Liz's pov

"Whoa," Jake said as he opened the door, "What's going on?"

"Can I come in?" I asked, looking up at him through teary eyes.

"Yeah. What's wrong?" He asked, resting his hand on my back as I hobbled into his apartment, "Did you get hurt?"

"It's just the baby," I excused, "Can I have ice packs?"

"Yeah, yeah," He rushed over to his freezer as I made my way to the couch.

"Here," He said as I turned around to sit down.

I moved slowly, biting my lip as a pressure in my stomach pushed itself against my skin.

As soon as Jake saw my discomfort, he helped me, holding my back with one hand and one of my hips with the other.

He sat next to me, pressing the packs into my hips.

"Thank you," I whispered, wiping my face as I grabbed one of the ice packs, setting it against my other hip.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" He asked after a couple of minutes, when I was a lot calmer.

His presence was so welcoming, it was the complete opposite of Colby.

"It's just Colby," I said, shaking my head.

"What'd he do?" Jake asked, his chocolate eyes filling with anger.

All of the feelings in my heart were so confused.

Here I was, pouring everything out to someone I used as a safety net.

The stunt I was falling from was Colby, and it always led me to Jake.

He listened as I told him everything, from the baby shower mishap to now.

I was an emotional wreck and in pain, an awful blend that kept the waterworks coming.

"I just really wish everything could go back to how it was," I finished, "I want to rewind and fix everything. But I can't,"

"Where, exactly?" Jake asked, "Where do you want to rewind to?  Because nothing in your relationship has ever been easy,"

I took in a deep breath, thinking about what Jake said.

"Christmas," I let out my breath, "I want to go back to last Christmas,"

It was the last time I remember feeling truly happy with Colby.

We were in his room after everyone exchanged presents, around the time that my bump was first becoming noticeable.

I couldn't stop laughing as Colby kissed my belly over and over again.

He filled my ears with promises that I knew were fake now.

He told me he loved me.

He told me he'll love me forever.

He told me I was the one.

He told me he'd marry me if I let him.

He told me we'd die together, if I didn't kill him first.

He let me tell myself that I believed him.

I was so happy then, and I was so in love.

That was the Colby I wanted back. I wanted that Colby to tell me that everything would be okay.

I wanted that Colby to hold me and love me now.

I wonder where he went, and why he left me with a Colby that hurt my heart and my mind.

I wish that Colby would've taken me with him and left the other version of him and I to rot alone.

"I miss how we used to be," I said, resting my head on Jake's chest, "I don't know if we'll ever be that way again,"

"Why not?" He asked, rubbing my back slowly, "Just talk to him like you talk to me,"

"He won't listen. He hates me," I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from crying again.

"He doesn't hate you," Jake said, "He probably is really hurt too. I doubt you're completely innocent,"

"But it hurts more," I said, letting my hand flop, defeated, into my lap.

"Your hormones are also all over the place right now, Liz," Jake said, pulling my face off his chest but bringing it close to his own, gently tugging my hair out of my face.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" He asked softly, focusing on my hair.

I glanced over at his balcony, realizing the sun had set a long time ago.

It was still out when I had gotten here, it was so odd that I didn't realize how long I'd been here.

"Yeah," I nodded as he gently pressed his lips to my forehead.

"We can talk more in the morning, if you want," Jake said as I nodded.

"Yeah," I whispered as he stood up, flicking off the lamp, "That sounds good,"

"Okay," He said as I slowly laid down, the ice packs making a noticeable and good difference in my legs and hips, "Thank you Jake,"

"Of course," He smiled, "I'll get you some blankets,"

Jake pulled the top off of his coffee table, handing me two blankets and a pillow that were inside of it.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite," Jake teased as I got comfortable laying down.

"I won't," I promised as he shut the rest of the lights off.

By the time I heard his bedroom door click shut, my eyes were already struggling to stay open.

It didn't seem to last long, because I woke up to a familiar voice talking to another familiar voice that I dreaded hearing.

"You want to take her with us for a video after what happened last night?" Jake asked, sounding like he was confused.

"Yeah," Colby said, "I just want to talk to her about everything, and if we're leaving tonight then I won't have a chance to,"

"You can wait until you come home," Jake reasoned, "It's not like she's going anywhere,"

"I hate that the two of us wait to talk about everything, because then it just gets pushed under the rug and saved for later," Colby said, sounding frustrated.

I didn't know how comfortable I'd be talking alone with Colby.

The thought of it made my heart race, and not in a good way.

"She's sleeping right now," Jake pointed out, "You can go back to your apartment and I'll text you when she wakes up, if you want,"

"No that's okay," Colby said, "I'll wait here."