All of Me

32

Liz's pov

As soon as we got back to the hotel, I made a beeline for the bed.

It feels like I've been sleeping on couches forever, and once I was on the bed, I never wanted to leave.

I laid closest to the door, grabbing one of the pillows and hugging it underneath my head.

I felt the bed dip in front of me, along with Colby muttering, "Save any room for us?" He asked, causing me to peek open my eyes as he sat beside me.

"There's a whole other bed," I muttered, pointing to where Jake was already trying to sleep and Corey was sitting.

"That's for them," Colby explained as I shrugged.

"Not my problem," I said as Sam chimed in.

"Don't worry about it, Liz," He said, "I still have to pack everything back up. Plus, you probably need the sleep more than we do,".

"A-thank you," I muttered, pulling the pillow closer to my head.

I got a whiff of Colby's cologne, a new fragrance but something that was so familiar to me that made my heart ache.

I wanted to bathe in it and drown in it. I also wanted to run from it and hide from it.

But it would feel wrong, especially when Jake would be sitting right there, and my feelings for him would forever be complicated.

I wanted to silently ask him to hold me, but also I wanted to keep my eyes shut and let sleep consume me.

And it did, it felt as if I was sucked into sleep like a beach wave when it comes up onto shore.

When I woke up again, my entire body still felt asleep and unwilling to move.

I could guess that Colby was still next to me on the bed, one of my legs on top of his.

He was talking quietly to Corey and Sam, and I had no idea what Jake was doing.

"What did you end up doing with all of the baby shower stuff?" Corey asked, his voice slightly muffled, "Did you give it to Liz?"

"It's sitting in my trunk," Colby said, his voice tangled with exhaustion.

"That's what you said like forever ago when you guys broke up," Sam said, disappointed.

"You never gave it to her?" Corey asked, "Does she even know that you have it?"

"I think so," He replied, "Who else would have it?"

"Did you ask her why she never came?" Corey asked, "I feel like that's a really important thing to do,"

"Yeah. She said she forgot," Colby replied, "But it still pisses me off,"

"Are you still mad at her about it?" Sam chipped in.

"I don't think he is," Corey said before laughing at Colby, "Did you see his face whenever Jake almost landed on her? He was so pissed,"

"Yeah, but you guys are broken up," Sam said to Colby, "So it shouldn't matter whether or not he's mad at her,"

"When did you guys end things?" Corey asked, getting serious again, "Was it before then, or like after?"

"I broke up with her that night," Colby said as Sam sighed. "It wasn't really something worth breaking up over,"

"It wasn't just that," Colby said, "I already told you about it, kind of,"

"You didn't tell me," Corey pointed out, "So spill,"

"I just want her to be normal," Colby sighed, causing Sam to sound confused and Corey to sound offended.

"What do you mean, normal?" Sam said, "Explain. Because I think its for an entirely different reason,"

At the same time, Corey let out an exasperated laugh, "You can't say that about her bro! She's perfectly fine,"

My heart ached as Colby continued to talk about me.

I wanted to cry. I was normal, what was he talking about?

How can you claim to love someone and then a couple of hours later talk about how you don't like them because they aren't normal?

"I just mean with her drug problem," Colby explained quickly, "I just wish I could go back in time and keep her away from the guy who got her into that stuff,"

"Why?" Corey asked, "She's sober,"

"She relapsed in November, then the other day I walked in her apartment and she was drinking," Colby said, "I just want her to actually care about the baby,"

"And she does Colby, you know that," Corey said, "I literally talk to Liz all the time about her baby,"

"Remember when Kat told me that you hardly take time out of your day to see Liz?" Sam asked, "That probably plays into it too,"

"What do you mean?" Corey asked Sam, "I thought they were together all of the time?"

"I have been really busy lately," Colby tried defending himself, only to be interrupted by Sam, "Kat told me that you maybe show up once every other week,"

"I'm busy!" Colby said, raising his voice slightly, "I don't have time to drop everything I'm doing to check in on another grown ass adult!"

I hated laying here and listening to everything. I just wanted to curl up and die.

"But she's not just another random person, dawg," Corey said sympathetically, "That's your girlfriend,"

"We aren't together anymore," Colby clarified, causing Sam to scoff.

"Love doesn't die overnight," The blonde guy said, "You clearly still have feelings for her if you want to kill Jake over everything he does around her,"

"What?" Jake mumbled, and I realized that he was asleep until the boys must have woken him up by yelling.

I tried my best to keep my breathing even and body relaxed, but it was getting harder and harder to do the longer that this conversation went on.

"Nothing," Sam stuttered, "Go back to sleep,"

Everyone fell into an awkward silence, it was so bad that I knew it was there even though my eyes were closed.

"You know what I think your problem is?" Sam asked quietly.

"What, brother?" Colby asked, his tired voice dripping with sadness.

"I think you're afraid of commitment," He said, "If you really think about it, you didn't have to worry about anything before her. You could hook up with whoever you wanted and do whatever you wanted,"

"Yeah, and it doesn't help that she's been pregnant for the majority of your relationship," Corey added quietly, "I feel like y'all haven't had a chance to really grow together and actually be in love because of the responsibilities of the baby,"

"Yeah," Colby said weakly, his voice muffled like he was covering his face with his hands, "It's been really hard,"

"We know that," Jake mumbled, "But she loves you,"

"And I love her too," Colby muttered, causing my heart to absolutely melt and crumble.

"So prove it brother." Jake encouraged.