Little Do You Know

Chapter 4

1987

Dani had been a mother for eight weeks. Eight weeks of no sleep, running on fumes, and having no idea what she was doing. But also eight weeks of staggering love, overpowering bliss, and mind-boggling joy. Lyric, this tiny little human, had somehow become what her entire world revolved around. From the moment they had laid her in Dani's arms, she knew there was nothing she wouldn't do for her. She loved her in a way she hadn't even known was possible.

And Eddie? She hadn't thought it was conceivable to love him more than she already had but watching him be a dad...there was nothing like it. He adored their daughter. He offered to get up in the middle of the night so Dani could get some sleep. He sang to their daughter as he swayed gently with her in his arms. He even changed diapers. Although, the first time he'd done that had Dani rolling with laughter.

He'd stood there, a look of terror all over his face as her mother talked him through what to do. Eddie had been scared to move her legs around, insistent he was going to break his daughter. Dani and her mom assured him she was more sturdy than he thought she was. He put the diaper on backwards the first time so he had to grab another one. Lyric began squirming and he placed a hand on her belly so she wouldn't fall even though Dani told him she couldn't roll yet. A week after that, Eddie was feeling pretty confident and went to change her on his own. Lyric had a complete blowout and Dani heard Eddie screaming her name before yelling, "Shit! It's on my hand, Dani! It's on my hand!"

The first time they'd given her a bath, he'd looked terrified. They had her in the kitchen sink and Dani had gently run the washcloth over her skin. She'd asked Eddie to get her out and he'd looked at her like she'd lost her mind. Eddie asked how he was supposed to do that when she was so slippery. Dani handed him the baby towel with a smile and he'd laughed at himself, tenderly wrapping up their daughter and cradling her against his chest.

But he'd come such a long way, willing to learn how to do everything, truly being Dani's partner in this crazy thing called parenting. Eddie was so supportive, sometimes he was the only thing keeping her together. When, three nights ago, he found Dani sitting in the bathroom crying at three in the morning because she was exhausted and Lyric wouldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time, he'd carried her to bed, tucked her in, and kissed her forehead, telling her to sleep because he had it.

She looked across the table at this beautiful man, this man who'd stepped up in every way for her these last months. When he'd told her he wasn't going anywhere, he'd meant it. Her mom had offered to take Lyric with her over to Hopper's for the night so Dani and Eddie could enjoy an evening alone. She'd officially gotten the all clear from her doctor a couple days ago, all healed and ready for intimacy. Well, her body was at least.

Eddie had insisted on taking her out for a nice dinner so they were at Enzo's, one of the only nice restaurants in town. They'd enjoyed a yummy dinner and Dani had indulged in a couple glasses of wine since she'd pumped enough to prepare for this evening away. She was enjoying the relaxed feeling in her body, the easy conversation with her boyfriend, getting to just be an adult for a few hours, getting to be just Dani, and not a mom.

"You ready?" asked Eddie after he paid the bill, standing up and offering her his hand. "We actually have the house all to ourselves for a couple hours. I don't want to waste a single minute."

He wiggled his eyebrows at her with an eager grin and Dani took his hand, allowing him to lead her from the restaurant and to his van. She felt a knot of dread coiling within her stomach, knowing what Eddie was hoping for from this night. She was not sure she was ready. Dani had spent a lot of time looking in the mirror after she showered today, anxious about tonight, and her body just wasn't what it used to be. Her stomach was soft, covered in pale lines, completely the wrong shape. Her breasts weren't perky, hanging low from the weight of the milk she needed to produce to keep their daughter fed. Most of the time, dark circles ringed her eyes, making her look like a raccoon, from night after night of lacking sleep.