The Party Scene Saga: Stories Yet To Unfold

Part 14

Lily

"Honey are you okay?" dad asked quietly, shaking me awake.

I opened my eyes fully; I was lay on the couch in my clothes from last night, and dad was knelt next to me. I nodded weakly. My eyes felt so heavy because I'd just woke up, so I rubbed them. Pulling my hands away from my face, I instantly groaned as I saw all the black eyeshadow and eyeliner covering them. Dad chuckled as he went out to make breakfast, so I decided to run upstairs and take a shower. As I came out of my room with all my stuff, I walked right into Zack. We bumped into each other, sending towels and my washbag to the floor. We picked our stuff up quickly, not saying a word to each other. Zack glared at me for a minute then shoved past me and into the bathroom.

"Dick." I mumbled as he closed the door.

I went back into my room and sat on my bed, waiting for Zack to finish up. He was being such a moody fuck lately! He snapped at mum the other night at dinner because she was talking about Sam and he "didn't like it", yesterday he went to Rian's early for no reason (I checked with Rian - he just wanted to get out of the house...more like get away from me), and he glared at me every time I walked into a room. As I was brooding over Zack's recent bad mood, I spotted something on my upper arm that scared me. I was paralysed with fear, even though I could only see a small part of it. Slowly, I pulled my sleeve up and gasped loudly.

"Holy shit..." I gasped.

There was a really long cut, about 2 inches long, straight through all my other scars. From the way I was looking at it, it was horizontal as opposed to vertical like my others. I wracked my thoughts for a couple of minutes; I really didn't remember this! I thought back to last night: I was out on the roof at midnight, Jack came out, we talked, I got upset, ran home, Lisa and Kara followed me, they left when I was okay, then I went upstairs and...

"FUCK!" I shouted, suddenly realising.

"Lily are you okay?!" shouted dad.

"Yeah...just kicked my bed by accident." I called back

Fuck. Everything was slowly coming back to me, and I finally remembered. It all made sense now. I'd come upstairs, drummed out my frustrations (everyone else was out so I could make as much noise as I pleased), wrote a few random lyrics and attempted to put guitar chords with them and then I went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Sure, I looked healthy and fine, but on the inside I was dying and broken beyond repair. Just five minutes with Jack had made me worse. Without second thought, I'd added another cut to the collection. And on further examination, I noticed it was pretty deep. Not as deep as the one on my right wrist, but still kinda deep.

"Stupid, that's what you are!" I hissed at myself, hastily covering the cut with my sleeve again.

Just as I sat on my bed again, I heard the shower go off. Zack came out of the bathroom and I ran in almost immediately after he'd stepped out. I heard him mumble something as I went past him, but I just ignored it. 'Emo'. It was his new little insult for me, but it didn't bother me. At least I wasn't the one in a depressive mood with everyone. At least I plastered on a fake smile so people would at least think I was okay. I spent a long time in the shower, just thinking about everything. I'd gone through so much at such a young age, and I'd gotten through most of it. It's crazy, how much of a bitch life can actually be. I was finally done in the shower and went to get dressed. But when I went into my room, Zack was stood there. He was staring at the carpet and looked up when I walked in, suspicion flooding his eyes. I closed my door and stood in front of him.

"You were a long time..." he pointed out.

"I was thinking." I said confidently. "Am I not allowed to think anymore? What, because I might be thinking about suicide? Get a grip, Zack."