The Party Scene Saga: Stories Yet To Unfold

Part 35

Lily

"Mark, I'm happy," I said slowly. "I can't go back on my progress, I'm sorry." And with that, I stood up and walked out.

Jack didn't even call me back. I continued to walk until I got to the end of the corridor. I saw his locker, right at the end of the row so distinctive with all the scuffs and band stickers emblazoned across it. Instantly I slid down the opposite row of lockers to the ground. I slumped to the ground and my tears fell, but I wasn't sobbing. I was just a bit sad; not depressed like normal, just sad. But even though I was sad, it wasn't deep down. It was more of a numb kind of feeling; half-hearted sadness. It was like I didn't want to feel for Zack, or for Mark. Like I was immune to them.

"Baaaabe..." I heard a familiar voice giggle.

"What, it's true!" Another voice laughed.

Ordinarily, I'd have wiped my tears away and made myself look normal, but I couldn't - or rather, I didn't want to. Alex and Lisa being fuddy-duddies was neither going to cheer me up or depress me further. I stayed sat across from Zack's locker, tear tracks all down my face. He moved to Dulaney after I got really bad, but I held a meeting with the principal to keep him away from me. I didn't want him near me.

"Lily?" Alex gasped.

"Sweetie what's wrong?!"

I groaned internally; I didn't have time for Lisa. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"But you're crying and-"

"Lisa, she said she's fine." Alex snapped. "If she says she's fine, she's fine."

Lisa pouted at Alex and stormed off in typical Lisa fashion. I heard Alex sigh and he slumped down next to me, staring in the same direction as me.

"Mark came in," I said eventually.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, he said he would." He said quietly. "But he's right, Lil. Zack is real bad."

I continued to stare straight ahead, not taking in anything Alex said. "I don't care," I stated. "I really do not give a tiny rat's ass. They're nothing to me." I said, all in the same tone and still not looking at Alex.

Before he could react, I got up and walked away. I didn't even pay attention to where I was walking to, I just walked until I got out of school. I continued on, and eventually realised I was at Jack's. Luckily Joyce was out, so I let myself in without fear of being reprimanded for not being in school and went up to the room. I took my last few things, went out to the car and drove to the apartment.

"Moron." I sighed as I walked through the door, closing it tightly behind me.

Instead of lounging around watching TV as I planned to, I packed. Everything I owned was back in boxes and down in the car, with just the clothes on my back being my last things here. I sat and drafted letters to Kara and Lisa, pouring my heart out to both of them to tell them how I felt. What I still wanted to do to myself even after all of the therapy I'd amassed over the years. What I planned to do; to run away and never come back. My plan was to go to Rian's for band practice as per usual and, once Jack left, go back and explain to the others why I was going. I owed it to them, especially Grieco. I was going to get him to come with me (to the airport, that is), then bring my car back to sell, and send me the money. I got the text from Rian asking me to take Zack's place for tonight, so I replied and told them I was on my way. I got there just as Alex did, and I somehow managed to keep it all in. We laughed, we chatted...everything was normal. I was my usual lovey self with Jack. I laughed with Grieco. I talked drums with Rian. Practice was over and Jack usually stayed for over an hour, but he got a call from his sister; he needed to be home. So he left, and I was left with the others. I changed immediately. My smile dropped; I slumped into my seat; I looked to the 3 of them glumly. Grieco gave me a confused look, but other than that they never noticed.

"Guys," I said suddenly. "Guys I need to tell you something." All the chatter stopped. I was stood in front of them, looking at their feet while they stared and waited for me to speak. "I don't know how else to say this."

"Lily?" I heard Alex; his voice was breaking like he was ready to break down.

"Say what you need to say." Rian nodded. "We're your friends, you can tell us anything." He added; Grieco nodded in agreement.

"I love you all so much," I said quickly. "You're the best friends that a girl could ask for, and I'm honoured to have been part of the foundation of this band. When you guys are huge, you best not forget me." I smirked, but it didn't stay on my lips for long. "I've decided to go. I need to get away from this town and just be myself. I wanna start a new life from scratch with no Merricks, no Jack and no other distractions." I paused. "I'm so sorry."

Grieco was crying; he refused to look at me, but I could hear the snuffles which, combined with his hands coming up to wipe his eyes every so often, told me all I needed to know. Alex, too, was refusing to look at me. He sat with his hands knotted together, staring at my shoes while he digested the information. Only Rian could face me; he was pitying me, but at the same time I could see in his eyes that he understood. He accepted my reason and wanted me to be happy.

"Where will you go?" Rian asked. "Who's going to look after you?"

I shrugged. "Wherever the wind takes me," I stated.

We didn't speak another word after that. Grieco insisted on accompanying me to the airport so that someone could sort my car once I left - I was thankful I didn't have to ask. Rian wished me all the best as he hugged me tightly and told me he'd miss me. He promised to visit if I told him where I ended up; I simply made an empty promise to keep him happy. Alex said nothing; he squeezed me so tightly and kissed me in such a way that if Lisa were here, I knew she'd be jealous.

"I love you guys so much," I told them, wiping away the few tears that managed to escape. Then, I drove off with Grieco by my side to make sure I got off safely.