Desire and Despair

Chapter 4

"Did you hear we're getting a new guy today?"Teddy asked Nathan, trying to start a conversation just like always.

Nathan laughed cynically. "I'm not too worried. As long as he hasn't ruined my life yet I'd be thrilled to share the prison experience with someone new." No matter how bad things got, at least on some level it really was funny. It sucked for him, of course, but his sense of humor was so well-developed he couldn't ignore how amusing his train wreck of a life was. The funniest thing was when something strange happened, and he realized that he'd left everything he loved behind to see that, to watch some tough criminal drop his lunch in the cafeteria, or to hear that crime shouldn't be his path from some wannabe activist. Even more ironic was when bad things happened, little things that never would've happened if he'd still been happily tucked away in his own home. His annoying guard's daily dose of insults, the haunting glint in Teddy's eyes he could never quite decipher, the bland food, the ever-present chill. None of that would've happened if not for the change in his life, and on some level it was tragic. But he laughed anyway, because what else was there to do?

Later that day Nathan was in the recreation room, not because he was particularly interested in watching HGTV, but because he couldn't stand another second cooped up in his room with Teddy. He saw someone new walk in, noticed almost immediately even though all his fellow inmates blended together in his overcrowded mind. But he knew this guy, there was something vaguely familiar about him. He got an unpleasant feeling from him, though he couldn't have explained why. The guy looked nice enough, he hadn't been there long enough to lose his cheerful smile along with everything else he cared about.

The mysterious man caught his eye. "Nathan Parker!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly it all came flooding back to Nathan. This was Aidan, the kid who'd messed with him back in school, and earned a concussion from Teddy. Looking back that probably should've been a red flag or something.

"Hey, about the past, I'm really sorry," Aidan said.

Nathan shrugged. "It's cool. I've got bigger problems now. I miss those days, when they were solvable, with no more than a swift punch to the face."

Aidan laughed. "Those were the good days, when the worst thing I'd ever done was call you dumb. Now it's armed robbery and drug dealing, just a few steps up. What're you in here for?"

Nathan shrugged. "A mistake," he explained tersely. "Pretty bad one."

"Wouldn't have thought," Aidan laughed. "You were always a good kid."

Nathan laughed bitterly. "That should've clued you in from the beginning. I've always cared a little too much. Never learned how to just keep my head down."

"I heard Teddy Appleton's here too," Aidan commented absently. "Our schools really representing, huh?"

Nathan grinned. "Hey, at least we're number one in something."

"Well, please, no more fights," Aidan pleaded. "I promise I'll be a saint to you."

Nathan shook his head. "No promises. Teddy doesn't fight for me anymore."

"Then what's he fighting?" Aidan asked. "Cause he's sure got a grudge at someone."

Nathan shrugged. "He's fighting the whole world these days." It was strange for him to see Aidan again. Aidan had always hurt him, being rude occasionally before Teddy taught him a lesson, and just beating Nathan at everything in general. Aidan hadn't dated Nathan's old crush, good old Daisy, but he could've had her if he wanted her, and somehow that made it worse. It would've hurt if they were together, but it stung that Aidan didn't even care, and won the competition without even trying. It hurts to see someone else have what you want most, but it hurts a lot worse when they don't even want it. Aidan had always been more popular, even though Nathan found him annoying he was one of the only ones. "How long will you be here?" he asked.