Desire and Despair

Chapter 16

Nathan smiled as he walked down the hall to visit Rochelle. He'd missed her, even though it had only been two days. She was the only person in his life right now who understood him. And besides, it was nice to know upfront she was getting paid to talk to him, even if she did find him fascinating.

"Hi," Nathan said with a smile, flopping into one of Rochelle's comfy chairs.

"Sit up straight," she directed him. "We're not here to relax Nathan. We're here to work on you."

Nathan sat up straighter. "Oh right, sorry."

"I hope you want to change yourself because I can't change you alone," Rochelle sighed.

"Trust me," Nathan laughed. "I need all the help I can get. I'm taking this seriously."

"I'm sorry to be so snappish," Rochelle said. "I'm just rather homesick."

"That's okay," Nathan answered nicely. "Maybe I should be your therapist for the day. Tell me all about it."

"Well, I'm afraid there's not much to tell," Rochelle admitted. "We can't all have your captivating problems. I just miss England. And really, this is hardly professional."

"Don't worry I've been a rule-breaker my whole life," Nathan replied cheerfully. "So why'd you leave England?"

"I suppose it was for my career," Rochelle admitted. "I got a job over here, and perhaps it was dreadfully selfish but I decided to come. It is rather lovely here, but it's not quite the same."

"What do you wish was different?" Nathan asked, ready to fix anything to bring back her smile.

She gave him one then, only a rather tiredly amused one. "Everything. Well...not you. But just...gosh it's difficult to explain. Here...shut your eyes for a moment and think of your best friend."

Nathan shut his eyes then, grateful for a moment of peace. At first, his mind went where he directed it, to an old friend he'd used to work with. But then another thought came rushing in, unbidden and unstoppable. It was Teddy, he wished he could run from it, but it was inevitable, graffitied across his mind. Teddy was still his best friend, after everything.

"Wouldn't you like them to be by your side?" she asked.

He sighed. "Funny thing is my best friend is still by my side, haunting as ever. And it's more of a curse than a blessing. But he's still the only one I can seem to think of when you mention my best friend."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "You must think I'm dreadful, complaining about missing home when it was my own stupid ambition that brought me here. You didn't have a choice, I'm sure it's so much worse for you."

He smiled. "I promise you, your feelings matter much more than mine. I became a lost cause years ago. It's a joke by now."

She laughed. "Well...thank you then. No one ever listens to my life. I really do like your country. It's just not quite like England here, and I can't seem to forgive that."

"Well, no, I guess not," Nathan admitted. "It's pretty awesome here though. Well, not here," he added, looking around the prison,"but out there."

Rochelle laughed. "I suppose it is. Perhaps I should start embracing my new home."

"Don't lose the accent though, it's cool," Nathan said.

"I won't," Rochelle promised with a smile. "You should come visit London sometime too. It's perfectly delightful. They have exquisite tea."

"I don't like tea," Nathan admitted.

"Well, I imagine you'd enjoy my version. I spike it," Rochelle confessed.

Nathan laughed. "You're full of surprises."

"So are you! I've never had such an absurd, amusing conversation at work. Most people are only interested in their own problems."

"Well, I like hearing that other people have problems," Nathan confessed. "It makes me feel better about myself. It's nice to know that even the perfect girl fixing everyone else's problems has issues."

"Well for what it's worth I've got plenty," Rochelle said with a laugh. "All properly analyzed of course."

"Of course," Nathan repeated with a smile.

"So you think I'm the perfect girl?"

Nathan laughed. "Well, not anymore." But, honestly, he kind of did still think that she was the perfect girl. She was honest, unlike Katie, and she didn't judge him for everything he'd done, like Heather. Besides, he hadn't used her and messed up their relationship yet, so that was great.

"I suppose I deserved that," Rochelle agreed. "So what's your expert opinion on my problems?"

"Well, I think you need a friend over here," Nathan suggested. "And I think I'd make a great one." He was kind of just making excuses to spend time with Rochelle, but whatever. At least this was his least dangerous deception so far.

"Well, I don't have many options, so I suppose you'll do," Rochelle teased.

Nathan didn't mind. Rochelle wanted to be his friend, even if he was her only choice. For the first time prison didn't seem so bad.