Change of Heart [a Damian Priest story]

7 Don't think

Damian POV

Like a tiger in a cage, I paced up and down the hallway in front of the corner that led to the photo shoot set. My breath went alternately fast and then it got stuck in my throat again. I had thought long and hard about what Rhea had said. I had to admit, even though I hated doing it, that Blair still meant a lot to me. And yes, that I was a fucking coward when it came to this woman.

Why was it so hard for me to go along with what Blair wanted? Fear of failure was the only answer I could think of. And if I had failed, I would have lost her. And maybe so much more. Well, that was idiotic, of course, since I had pushed her away and lost her in the end anyway.

I had let my own thoughts and the talk of the boys go to my head. When in fact, she was all I wanted.

"Don't think... Just do it!" I said to myself as I took another deep breath.

I took the last few steps in that direction. I quickly saw that Blair was alone. It looked like she was cleaning her camera. For a brief moment I watched her in silence. But quickly I realized that this would probably look pretty creepy in case she noticed me.

"Hi Blair." I began.

My voice sounded unusually high, almost as if I had a lump in my throat. I tried to clear my throat inconspicuously.

"Damian... what can I do for you? I actually don't have you on the list for today." she said as she looked at me very briefly.

But that brief moment was enough for me to see the blush rise to her face. It happened to her a lot. And it was one of the cutest things about her. Just like the little dimples that showed up whenever she smiled at me or when she had a nice dream.

"Um... the thing is... is it... would it be possible, maybe, that... well, that we talk?" I asked, stuttering.

God, this was embarrassing. I couldn't even get a straight sentence out. Blair looked at me with her big eyes.

"I guess that's okay... what do you want to talk about?" she replied softly.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I know it's probably too late for that.... But you deserve to hear it. Blair...I-" I said until suddenly her phone started ringing.

"Sorry, it's the hospital." she mumbled, fear written all over her face.

"Go ahead and answer it. It can wait." I replied.

I backed up a little to give her privacy. An uneasy feeling immediately crept over me. Because if the hospital called at this hour, it certainly couldn't mean anything good.

It wasn't long before I saw her eyes fill with tears and she put her hand to her face. That's when I knew. It was the call she had been dreading for so long.

Blair ended the call and began to cry heavily. Each sob shook her body. I wasted not a second, not a thought, and went to her. Quickly, yet gently, I pulled her into my arms.

"My mom's gone." whispered Blair with a sniffle as she buried her face against my chest.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie..... I'm so sorry..." I said softly as I held her.

"I have to go." she then said as she pulled away from me.

With a rough movement she grabbed her things and ran out before I even had the chance to say anything.

But I couldn't hold it against her. Her mother's death had hit her like a ton of bricks. And it didn't matter that she knew what was going to happen or how much she could prepare for that moment.... Nothing would have ever been enough to prepare her for that pain.

But as I watched Blair leave, I knew deep down that I wanted to do everything I could to spare her any more pain. I wanted to protect her from anything that could hurt her in this world. I could only hope that it would not be me again who hurt her. This one time had been enough.