Who am I?

Family

Janas car pulled up at the curb I was standing at. I got in the passenger seat.

"Karl.."

"I don't want to go home"

"Well, if it's the people you don't want to see then I have good news for you"

"What?"

"Lisa and I are sleeping in the new apartment tonight and colby is staying with a friend"

"Really? What about mom and dad?"

"Your mom is staying in the hospital, she's wants to be there just in case Mia... um your dad is asleep right now, me and Lisa stayed with him until he went to bed"

"Okay, well, can you just drive me home? I'll just sneak through the back window so I don't wake him"

I was driven home. When I got out of the car Jana said goodbye to me and drove away. I walked to our back window. The lock was broken on it so it was easy to sneak out. Me and lisa noticed it didn't work our first week we moved here. I pulled the window open and quietly entered the silent house and walked to my room. I turned on the light in my room and stared at the place. Everything that ment something to me didnt anymore. I left the room and went to Mias room.

I went into the dark room closing the door behind me. I laid down on her bed and thought about everything that had happened today. Eventually I fell asleep, I woke up to my dad opening the door and turning on the light.

"Karl, why are you in your sisters bed? And where were you yesterday?" He asked as I sat up in the bed

"How did you know I was in Mias room?" I asked rubbing my eyes

"Your room light was on and you weren't in there."

"Oh, sorry."

He sighed and sat down next to me.

"Son, I'm worried about you"

"I'm gay dad" honestly very unsolicited

"..." he stared at me in disbelief

"It's okay if you don't accept me, I understand that this might be hard for you and-"

He abruptly hugged me tightly. I hugged back tears forming in my eyes.

"I love you karl, nothing can change that. You're my beautiful amazing son"

I broke down crying. I was so scared of this moment but when it came I was fine.

I'm safe in this moment.

"You might want to talk to Lisa" I giggled as we both pulled away from the hug

"Oh my god. Are her and Jana.."

"Yep" I laughed

"Oh thank the lord"

"You're happy she's gay?" I asked still laughing at bit

"She can't get pregnant and Jana is awsome"

We both laughed for a little.

"You know, your mom and I have been so focused on your sister this pass year or so that we haven't really noticed the rest of you. Your brother was talking to me before he went to his friends house, and... he says you don't really eat. That anytime you have food you just stare at it or play with it. He's worried and so am I"

"Oh"

"If you're worried about your body or how others see you-"

"No. I just eat in private I don't really eating around other people" the quickest excuse I could think of.

"Oh alright. Well. I need to get to work. Just so you know, you don't have to go to school tomorrow." He left the room leaving me alone with my thoughts

I sat on the bed. Thinking.

I never noticed that I don't eat that much. I've never really thought about the way I look unless I'm around others.

I stand up and go to my own room. I sit down on the bed and turn on my playlist "I'm so full of myself" the first song to play is "step on me" by the cardigans. I lay on the bed listening to the music not really thinking. I hear the house door slam close. The next song to play is "gone gone/thank you" by Tyler the creator. I connected my music to the speaker in The kitchen and turned it to full volume so that you could hear through out the whole house.

I went to the bathroom and took my clothes off. I got in the shower and turned on freezing cold water. It woke me up. I stayed in the freezing shower for what felt like forever. When I turned it off and got out I felt instantly better.

I put my clothes back on and went to my room. I unlocked my phone and texted Alex. We had given our numbers to each other the other night.

You
Hey Alex. Wanna come over?