Who am I?

Finally home

Me and Wil wrestled around kiss each other and making stupid flirty comments. Eventually he pinned me down. Both of us were sweating and out of breath. He looked down at me not saying anything. He fell over next to me and let out a sigh.

"What's wrong? Am I not strong enough for you?" I giggled

"No you're perfect for me. You're the best thing to happen to me" he said looking at the ceiling

"Then what is it?" I asked looking at him

"I don't think I can handle love" he said turning his head to look at me

"Why do you think that?"

"Nick was.. everything. He was great in bed, he never made me feel bad about my eating disorder, he was gentle, he was everything that I needed"

"..."

"Sorry. You don't need to hear about my problems, you just got back"

"No no. I want to hear about your problems"

"... sometimes I think that in a different life I had the world. I had a family with siblings and a mother. I had a love life that wasn't ruined."

"Would we know each other in this world?"

"..no. I'd die before meeting you. I'd ruin everything for everyone. That would be what I wanted. I would want to get rid of everything."

"Do you think about this a lot?"

"Not really. But when I do.. I love it. I love the idea of getting to restart"

Wil left a few hours later. I started taking done all of the pictures and drawings on my walls. Everything was put into boxs. I put every lose you bee thing in my room in a box or drawer. When I was dont the place felt empty. I fell asleep on my bed and didn't wake up for hours. When I woke up it was 12:35. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a monster.

"You slept for awhile" Lisa said

"My bed is so comfortable compared to the one at the hospital" I giggled

"You need to get your sleep schedule in check. You go back to school next week" she said also grabbing a monster

"Right I forgot about that. Honestly I'm not sure if I'm fully ready" I said taking a sip of the drink

"Mom and dad aren't forcing you. But, you've missed so much of your senior year"

"Yeah I know. I'll go back for like a day or two and if I'm not ready I'll give myself some time"

".. you've become so mature. I'm proud of you." She said messing up my hair

I guess my attitude has become better but I'm not sure if I've matured. I still think about cutting myself and killing myself. Those are just thoughts. I would never act on them. I don't think I would.

The band came to visit me my third day back. We mostly just talked about music and their new album. Nikki and Cara came over on my fourth day back, we watched a few films and cooked pizza. My fifth day back I mostly just laid in bed. Wilbur came over with Alex and we talked about school. My sixth day back I make a strict schedule on how it would be like at school. My seventh day back Wil came over while my family went out for the day.

"What do you want to do?" I asked as we walked to my room.

"I had a few ideas" he said kicking off his shoes

He pulled me into a heated kiss the quickly turned into us making out on my bed. We both pulled off our shirts before taking a second to catch our breath.

"Are you ready for this? I understand if it's to soon" he said panting

"I've been thinking about this all week" I giggled

"Okay. We're going to use a colour system. Green means keep going, yellow means that you need a little time to adjust, and red means full stop." He said as we both took off our pants and boxers

"Do you want to use anything? Toys, rope, handcuffs?" He asked

"No I think I should take it slowly" I said

He laid down on the bed and lifted me right above him. I lined us up and started pushing down.

"You don't need prep?" He grunted

I shook my head no. I slowly put down all my weight and had him fully inside me. He slowly lifted my hips and then pushed them back down. Eventually I started bouncing myself. Moans spilt out of me. His hands held onto my waist and tightened the faster I went.

"K-Karl~" he moaned

I was going as fast as I could but started slowing down to closer I felt to climax. His eyes were rolled back and his mouth was wide open. He held my waist and started moving me up and down at an impossible pace. We came at the same time. We sat in a still position for a minute trying to catch our breaths.

Wilbur flipped us over so that I was laying on the bed. He pulled out and started kissing my entire body.

"Do you need me to clean you up sweetheart?" He asked quietly

"N-no i want you-"

"Come on love finish your sentence"

"I need more of you"

"You're such a slut" he giggled

He held both of my hands as he slowly pushed in me. My hand tightened around his. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as he pushed all the way in.

"I Can stop anytime you need me to" he whispered as he pulled out then pushed in again.

He fucked me slowly and gently. Me hands held onto his as tightly as they could.

"Relax sweetheart. This is about you, okay?"

My hands loosened a bit. Quiet and silent moans came out of me me. He didn't go faster or slower. I stared at his face. His calm beautiful face.

"Nh~ I'm close" I said shutting my eyes

He didn't say anything he just kept going. I came, a pool of the white liquid on my stomach.

"You're doing so good sweetheart, just a little more" he said gently

After another minute of this and he came while pulling out of me. He fell down on the bed next to me. We were both panting out of breath. He stood up shakily and went to the bathroom. He grabbed a damp towel and clean both of us. He changed my sheets and got of both dressed in shorts and a shirt.

"You did so go baby" he whispered as we got cuddled in my bed