Who am I?

Help me

A loud knock on my homes door broke me out of the sort of trance I was in. I had been sitting on the couch zoned out. I got up from my seat and opened the door. Alex was standing there with an excited look on his face. He stepped in when I got out of his way, he looked around the house in amazement.

"I love your house karl" he said as we grabbed some drinks

"Oh thanks" I said smiling at him

Earlier that day I had opened every door in the house. I feel very alone when the doors are closed.

While walking to my room Alex was looking in all the doors.

"You have a sister?" He asked

I turned around to see him looking in Mias room.

"Oh uh yeah"

"Where is she right now"

"The hospital"

"What why?"

"She's dying"

I continued walking to my room, Alex rushed to catch up with me. We went to my room and closed the door behind us.

"So why'd you wanna hang out?" He asked sitting down in my desk chair

"I needed someone, I don't think being alone is my best option today. I was hoping we could talk about nick. I think I like him."

"You think?"

"I've never had romantic feelings for anyone before but now I feel them for nick. I've known him for a week so maybe I'm confusing love with excitement that I have a new friend"

"Oh, well. Describe how you feel when you see nick."

"Okay. At first I feel like im looking at the most beautiful person ever and then I feel safe with him and then I feel empty without him"

"Okay maybe you do like him" he giggled

"Wait really?"

"Yeah. The way you're describing it, it sounds like you're in love"

"But I've only known him a week so I should make any drastic move on him?"

"Yes"

"Well, we did make out the other day" I said not making eye contact

"Just pretend like nothing happened and if he brings it up just say, uhh- that you were just in the heat of the moment" he said putting actual thought into it

"I'm so glad you came over" i giggled

"I'm glad you asked to hang out, it's my dads day off and he's getting drunk while watching football" Alex sighed

He stood up and walked around the room looking at everything.

"Karl" he giggled "why do you have two green hand prints over top of each other on your wall?"

"It was there when we moved here and I thought it was cute so I left that square of wall paper" I shrugged

"What do you want to do?" I asked as he flopped down on my bed

"Hmmm what do you do for fun?" He asked

"Oh I used to do art but I don't really do it that much anymore. I write, uh I play Minecraft sometimes, I like to read, I usually just listen to my older sisters drama with her friends when I'm bored. Oh I also let my little sister give me make overs when she wants" I listed

"You have two sisters?" He asked interested

"Yeah my older sister Lisa and my little sister Mia. I also have a brother, his name is colby"

"Which sister is in the hospital?" He asked

"Oh Mia, she has cancer" I said looking down

"Oh I'm sorry for asking" he said quietly

"No it's fine!" I said looking back at him

"So why are you worried about people seeing your body?" He asked

"Wow you're great at asking personal questions" I giggled

"Well I'm nosy" he smiled

"I just get all panicky whenever I got to take my shirt off in front of people. It may be because of my scars, but honestly I think I just have body image issues" I shrugged

"Scars?"

"Oh uh, I just to self harm, I still do. Not a lot though" I said quietly

"Wh- can I see?" He asked sitting up

"I guess?"

He stood up and lifted my shirt off of me. I cut my chest and stomach because I wanted to be able to hide the scars. Alex stared in disbelief. He lightly felt them.

"Okay that's enough!" I said pulling my shirt off

I made him agree to never tell anyone about my scars.

We put on  Adam Sandler movies and played gama pigeon. We cooked some box Mac an cheese with garlic salt for dinner. I didn't have a hard time eating it this time. We talked about a million different things while eating dinner.

"Do you want so ice cream? We for some reason have some" I said while looking in the freezer

Alex was at the sink cleaning the dishes we used

"What kind is it?" He asked

"It's salted Carmel, it's on a sick and dipped in chocolate" I said pulling the box out of the freezer and showing it to him

"Shit that's a lot of dairy but okay" he smiled before going about to cleaning the dishes.

I helped him clean, dry, and put everything away before we opened the ice cream. We both complained about brain freeze while eating the ice cream. We went back to my room and had a full on argument about why twilight sparkle shouldn't have been a princess. Then I went on a rant about the fnaf lore. It was an odd conversation.

Around ten me and Alex both got tired so we decided to go to bed. I let him sleep in the same bed as me because both of us were to lazy to make a bed of him on the floor.

"Thank you for coming over Alex, I really needed this."

"Yeah of course, your cooking sucked though"

I hit him both of us giggling.