Who am I?

Karl?

Everyone was eating while i ate a fry every once in a while. I staring at one of the tvs they had in the restaurant when I started seeing black spots, my vision was going blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out. I turned to alex who looked at me confused.

"Alex? I d  on t feel..."

When I woke up I was sitting in a hospital bed.

"Karl!" Lisa yelled when she saw me awake

"What's going on?" I asked

"You passed out" Jana said

"What?" I said petrified

"The doctors put you on feeding tubes" Alex said yawning a little

"Where's mom and dad?" I asked looking around the bright room

"They were here but mom wanted to stay with Mia" Lisa said

"She low-key gaslighted your dad into coming with her" Jana said

"Oh.." I'm not very surprised that mom is more worried about Mia then me but it still hurts that she isn't here

Alex left the room to get a doctor while Lisa tried getting ahold of mom and dad. Jana got fed up with mom not answering so she left to go find their room. Lisa stayed with me and explained in more detail how I passed out.

According to Lisa I had been staring at the tv behind her when I started swaying side to side. She didn't think anything of it because she thought I was just stimming but when I looked at Alex she could tell something was wrong. Before she had a chance to say anything I passed out, I fell onto Alex, he caught me and had no idea what to do. Jana got a worker to call 911 while Lisa tried waking me up. Apparently Alex just sat there not doing anything, though Lisa did say he seemed terrified.

"Damn, sorry about that" i said

"No it's fine" Lisa shrugged

"Can I have my phone? I need to text colby" I said reaching for it

"No" she said pulling it away from me "they said you're having a mental health problem so they don't want you on your phone while you're in the hospital"

"Oh, what mental health problem am I having?" I asked

"Eating disorder"

"So something's wrong with my eating? How's that a mental thing?"

"No, Jesus you know nothing" she sighed "an eating disorder is when you starve yourself to change how you look, that isn't the only version of and eating disorder but they say that's your version" she explained

"What I wasn't trying to change how I look. I-um"

I was trying to change my body. I hate the way I look, every part of me I hate, I can't take my shirt off with out wanting to crying, I hate when people look at me. I hate me. But, I didn't even know that I was starving myself. I thought I had been eating. But, now that I think about it. I can barely remember anything. I can't pull any specific memories from before school started.

The doctor walked in with Alex trailing behind him.

"Alex you can go home if you want to" I said trying ignore the doctor

"No it's okay, you're my friend, I want to be here for you" Alex smiled sitting down next to Lisa

"Okay are any parents here? I need to discuss with them about Karl's physical state" the doctor asked Lisa

"My girlfriend is looking for our little sisters room right now, they should be here soon" Lisa said

"Oh your sister is also a patient here?" The doctor asked intrigued

"Yeah Mia jacobs. Cancer." Lisa said

"Oh how old is she?"

"Ten" I said somewhat intuitively

"Sorry can I know about my state?" I asked

"Oh well I'm not to disclose information with out a parent around" the doctor said

"I'm 19 years older and sighed as an emergency contact with the hospital" Lisa said

"Please" I said

Jana walked in with food from the vending machine, mom and dad behind her. Mom rushed to hug me while dad talked with the doctor.

My moms very dramatic. She's sodding and hugging me and telling me how much she loves me and that she's sorry.

"Mom I'm fine calm down" I say

"I'm so sorry baby, I hope we didn't make you feel like you had to starve yourself" she cried letting go of me

"Mom give him room" Lisa said

"Right thank you doctor" dad said before the doctor left

"So? Am I fine? Can I go home?" I say pulling the blanket off of me

"You told me it was fine"

"What?"

"We sat in your sisters room and you told me that you were fine, that you were eating. Why? Why would you lie to me karl?"

I have never seen my dad so upset before. He didn't even cry when Mia was diagnosed with cancer. He had tears in the corners of his eyes. This scared me. This scared me more then almost starving myself to death.

"I'm sorry dad I-"

"I cant with you right now karl." He left the room, he left me

"I'm sorry.."

Mom and Lisa ran after him while Alex and Jana tried telling me how it's not my fault and that it's okay. The guilt of hurting my dad killed me. The image of his face, the tears in his eyes is all I could think about.

"Karl get up we can go now" Lisa said walking back in

"What about mom and dad?" I asked

"We can't find dad anywhere in the hospital and mom got all panicked and when back to Mia" she said

"Oh... I- came out to dad"

"What?!? Holy shit!!" Lisa and Jana screamed

"Good job" Alex smiled at me

"When?" Lisa asked

"Like and hour before Alex came over" I said

"Does your mom know?" Jana asked

"No." All their faces dropped "dad said not to tell her, not yet. But I'll tell her eventually"

Lisa smiled at me

"Also he might know about you and Jana.."

"No I wanted to tell them!" Lisa yelled making us all laugh

We left the hospital and dropped Alex off at his house before going to Jana and Lisa apartment. They showed me around the place and explained in deep detail on how they were going to decorate each room. While looking around the apartment I realized I have no idea what time it is. I checked their janky looking clock.

5:19 am