Who am I?

This is who i am.

Nick came over the day after Christmas. We sat in my bed rewatching our favorite anime for the millionth time. I was laying on him when a burst of confidence just hit me. I sat up and looked him in the eyes.

"Nick."

"Karl?"

"I like really like you. You bring me like genuine joy. I love being your friend but I want to be more then that. I want to be your boyfriend. I get if you don't like me that way or if you aren't ready but-"

"Karl we've had sex like multiple times... why would I have sex with someone I don't like?" He giggled

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes you idiot!" He pulled me into a kiss while we both giggled

We finished the episode that we were watching then decided to make a list of boundaries for the relationship.

Sex needs to always have a safe word and will not happen if one of us isn't sober
Neither of us is more power then the other. We are mutuals
We need to always be honest with each other
Even if we're fighting we need to check in on each other

That's all we put before getting bored and going to the kitchen to make something to eat. We made some Mac and cheese while making a bunch of date ideas.

When school got back in session me and clay couldn't shut up about our boyfriends. Anytime we talked it would be about how much we love them. Nick and Alex made up with each other but agreed that they need to be friends, they would stay neutral with each other. George and i stayed gossipers. We would always talk about the newest drama in the school. About a month after winter break clay and George broke up over some stupid fight.

I would let George vent to me as much as he needed. I tired to talk to clay about what was going on but he would just shut down when ever I tried talk to him. After a month of not taking to each other they made up on Georges birthday.

When school ended for seniors I played a really dumb party for me and my friends. Toby was the first person I invited, no he wasn't graduating but I still wanted him there. Nick, clay, George, and Alex obviously said yes. Wilbur and the band agreed to come but they had to cancel a gig. Nikki and Cara said they would love to come. Me and bill ran into each other at the store.

"Bill?"

"Karl?"

"Holy shit you're bald" I giggled

"Im a proud bald" he giggled

We talked for awhile. I invited him to the party but he said he couldn't and that he had only recently left the hospital so he was still taking things slowly.

When the party came Wilbur and Alex were the first ones. Everyone showed up eventually. Nick was the last person to come.

"Well you better have a good reason on why you're late" I said opening the door for him.

"I was preparing myself for tonight" he said walking in

"What you can't be around all of these people?" I asked

"No I was getting ready to have you for dinner tonight" he whispered before walking away to clay

When my family finally left the house Nick and clay revealed they had brought alcohol. Some of us started drinking but the rest didn't. I pulled nick to the side to talk.

"You know the rule we set" I whispered to him

"Im not drinking. I still need to drive home"

"Well you aren't going home."

"Oh?"

"You won't be able to walk to your car" I whispered into his ear biting it a bit

"Oh~" he giggled

We all had fun listening to music and playing stupid games. After a few hours everyone left. Me and nick started cleaning up while flirting with each other.

The summer flew by in a flash. Me and nick had a fight during it and I had a small relapse but we made up with each other. When collage application session came I applied to the same one as nick. We got our exception letters a few months later. We went in a little after being excepted because they wanted to do interviews.

We listened to music and sang along while driving to the school. When we got there nick went first. He was in there for about half and hour. I went in after him.

"Hi sweetheart. You're going to give us an introduction to you and your life. Alright" a lady said sitting at the long table with a few other people

I took in a deep breath and thought about this year. Nick. Wilbur. Alex. Clay and George, Lovejoy. Cara and Nikki. My eating disorder. My self harm and suicide attempt. Mia.

"Hello. Im karl jacobs. And this is who I am."