Steve Saga Short Stories ♡

Even If It Happened

Authors note** some quick Rainbow/Sabre, a lil bittersweet and angst. I think Rain angst's the only thing my brain wants rn, (in fact, I'm thinking of making a book with Rain angst, expanding the concept from "Bitter Birthdays"). I wanted to practice first-person perspective since I rarely do it, mainly cause I don't often like it in fanworks (despite one of my fav book series being FPP), so I thought I'd practice it by analyzing the things I don't like in FPP? Feel free to criticize!

1290 words

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I sat on the bridge, breathing in and out crisp air. I felt numb, but not because I was just drained of my powers and possibly shivering through a slow, painful death. Though that did leave me tired and I probably should be in the machine Sabre left me in, I couldn't shake the feeling that more than me was missing. It felt like I'd lost the last photo I had with someone before they died. I could bare to stand still in a machine, reaching for a lost memory that I'm sure I didn't have. I felt like I remember things from before I remember, I always have.

But now... it was more jarring than ever to have them at my fingertips. Instead, I watched the snow dance and swirl in indecisive winds and melt into the water or slowly pile on the ground. The stone was cold and the sky was just as grey and empty, but it was comforting. As the flowers, still in bloom, were coated in snow. It fell on me and all around, but only sticking to the cold things. It stuck to me, not melting at all. I couldn't remember if it always had or if it was just now.

It was nice, Light would have liked to sit with me if he weren't... where ever he was. Maybe resting? Or out exploring? Or was he missing, again? Dead, again? I couldn't remember, but he would like this. I don't think he'd sit with me, though; not without color and joy. I wish I could crack a smile on his face, all their faces, the happy kind, not the sad ones I've been seeing much too often. Light would have liked to sit with me when I was colorful, watching the snow fall onto the colorful flowers and watching a colorful sunset like the one that should have been drifting behind the Rainbow Tree.

But I saw no color where there should have been oranges, yellows, pinks, purple, and many more brilliant colors of the sky. Instead, I saw scales upon scales of blueish-grey. I saw blueish-grey flowers and blueish-grey hair out of the corner of my eye. I loved color and I couldn't even find comfort in it. At least some blue lingered in my vision, even if it was like the spots after looking at a light for too long. It was nice, I liked blue and one color was better than none. It was hard to see thought; like it wasn't there, just my vision echoing what should have been there.

My thoughts were sluggish, but soon I heard a sharp pin from a distance away. Sabre was back. I couldn't help but sigh aloud to myself, knowing the tranquillity of the bridge was at its end. I waited for Sabre to come to me, not wanting to rush back into my confinement. Sabre spotted me easily and headed up the path. I watched him get closer from the corner of my eye until he was at my side with crossed arms.

"Rain," He said sternly

"Sabre"

He sighed "What's with you and getting out of the machine?" He patted my head "Don't you wanna get better, fam?"

I didn't really have a good answer for him "The machine isn't making me better, just... prolonging the inevitable."

Apparently, that wasn't the response Sabre expected nor wanted "What 'you mean 'inevitable'?" He blurted out.

I once again didn't have a good answer. Or instead, I guess I did but couldn't bring myself to say it. 'My failure as a hero is inevitable as Im slowly dying'? How do you say that to one of your best friends? How could I say that when I'm supposed to be the positive one? How could I say that when all Sabre wanted to do was help? Sabe burned holes in my head as I avoided his gaze. I looked at the water below us, which was iced over, but not to the point where you could put a walk on it.

"Rain, what's 'inevitable'?" He asked again. He looked at me with seriousness, which wasn't unusual but he rarely kept a straight face. Even in hard times he would smile stiffly and tell a joke to lighten the mood. His serious face reminded me of ghosts of my past. I never knew why, but it reminded me of many things it shouldn't. My blue scarf from one, love and pain, when times weren't so serious. Not just with Sabre, but when the steves flourished. I remembered it once, but as the days went on I forget more of who I was. I ignored his new question, as I realized I let my lack of hope show. Instead, I answered his first question.

"I don't like it in the machine... it leaves me alone with my thoughts and nothing else," I told him. "I have to think of things I don't want to, but here I can watch the world till Im not thinking about it.

"Like what?"

"Well the flowers, the snow, the trees...uh"

"No I mean the "thoughts", what thoughts?"

"I know it's surprising but I do have somethin' rattling up in there." I giggled to myself

Sabre didn't laugh, didn't even smile, despite himself. I sighed "I remember what I can of my past and all the things I could have done better. I think of how much I can't remember anymore. I think of things that never happened but might. I don't like being left alone with just my thoughts for so long, it makes me sad. It makes me feel guilty and shameful and... depressed"

"Oh..."(What a sophisticated and thought-provoking response) "oh"

"I also just don't like machines as a whole, they make me feel helpless and... useless."

"Oh"

He didn't say anything for a moment and I looked at the water as he looked at me. Then he moved closer and put a hand over mine. He sighed into the wind and rested a head on my shoulder. It reminded me of the one time we watched the sunrise from the Tree of Life. The town was silhouetted, behind a blazing sun, as slowly its warm rays poked up and spread over us. He leaned onto me in a similar way, his feathers tickled my neck. One of many moments I've cherished.

I leaned my head on his, his feather tickling my face and reminding me I still was alive. I looked at Sabre, who was looking at me. I could always tell, I could sense it. I met where I knew his eyes were, which he loved when I did. I was the only one who could look into his eye through the bandana. He smiled for a moment, but not very much. He laced his finger with mine as he asked again.

"what's 'inevitable'?"

"Well, as defined by the dictionary-"

He laughed an oh-so-familiar chuckle that made me feel so much better. He cackled to himself, even though it probably wasn't either of our best jokes. He took a moment to settle.

"Seriously, Rain! What was that supposed to mean?"

I looked at him, with a smile that was probably that of a weary parent since Sabre's face seemed to lose its playful smile.

"Something you don't believe," I told him "Something you'll never believe even if it happened."